


tennis court

by cryingintheclub



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Chatting & Messaging, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Humour, M/M, Minor Relationships, lots of teenage drama and angst, sprinkled with friendships and relationships, this fic is an experiment of how many shenanigans I can fit into one fic, this is terribly self-indulgent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 22:28:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20161135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryingintheclub/pseuds/cryingintheclub
Summary: birdbrain: SO,,,, bucky and I have some newsmerida: so you two finally hooked upbirdbrain:birdbrain: fuck no, barnes is repulsive. I have standardsASSet: keep denying that you don’t wanna tap this xxxxnattynat: what do you want thenASSet: SAM AND I CAUGHT FURY AND COULSON GETTING FREAKY—also known as: a self-indulgent avengers high school au full of shenanigans, friendships, relationships and of course, drama.





	1. the ass in ASSHOLE

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [skate fast eat ass](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16289576) by [cryptic_potato](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryptic_potato/pseuds/cryptic_potato). 

> title taken from tennis court by lorde! 
> 
> in which sam and thor both have black eyes on the first day of senior year, bucky and tony end up in detention and the juniors are beginning to give stephen grey hairs already.

**OLD TOWN ROAD   
** **MEMBERS:  
** bucky barnes (ASSet)  
sam wilson (birdbrain)  
natasha romanoff (nattynat)  
clint barton (merida)

tuesday 2:29pm 

ASSet: can you believe i put the ass in ASSet

ASSet: assinasset.png

birdbrain: can you believe you put the ass in ASSHOLE

ASSet: so you are agreeing that my ass is fine

birdbrain: fuck

nattynat: i am surrounded by idiots

birdbrain: why are you sending us photos of your ass anyway 

ASSet: clint and i are out shopping for new back to school clothes and we needed a third opinion 

nattynat: so what you mean is that you just wanted an excuse to piss sam off 

ASSet: correct 

birdbrain: fuck you bucky 

ASSet: in your dreams, wilson 

nattynat: is clint with you? 

ASSet: no he's at dunkin donuts drowning his sorrows in a glazed blueberry donut 

nattynat: did you guys see steve at the mall 

ASSet: yup 

merida: BUCKY YOU PROMISED NOT TO TELL 

ASSet: sorry sweetheart you know I don't keep my promises 

birdbrain: and you wonder why you are single 

ASSet: sorry what was that, I don't speak dumbass 

birdbrain: thats rich coming from you. I can't recall you ever making a decision that didn't result in you looking like a dumbass 

ASSet: i may be a dumbass but at least im not a pussy 

nattynat: you two are no better than five year olds 

ASSet: sam started it 

birdbrain: are you kidding me 

nattynat: just shut up both of you. bucky just go and pay for those jeans that make you look like the sixth member of one direction and then go meet clint at dunkin donuts and grab us a mixed box of donuts and then meet us at the treehouse. sam come and pick me up so we can head over to the treehouse at bucky's house

ASSet: on it chief 

birdbrain: are you actually going to let me drive this time or are you gonna be the backseat driver that you are?

nattynat: if I have a problem with your driving you will know about it 

birdbrain: have you ever heard about respecting the driver?

nattynat: respect is not in my vocabulary 

birdbrain: clearly 

nattynat: stop responding and start driving 

birdbrain: aren't you just a ray of sunshine 

\- 

tuesday 6:42pm 

birdbrain: i can't believe bucky shot me in the face with a nerf gun 

ASSet: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT 

birdbrain: HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY PULL THE TRIGGER AND AIM FOR MY FACE 

ASSet: I WASN'T AIMING FOR YOUR FACE 

birdbrain: SO YOU WERE PLANNING TO SHOOT THE NERF GUN AT ME 

ASSet: OBVIOUSLY

ASSet: YOU WERE INSULTING JOHN BENDER

ASSet: I WILL NOT TAKE JOHN BENDER SLANDER SO EXTREME MEASURES HAD TO BE TAKEN 

birdbrain: why am I not surprised. he's an asshole, you're an asshole 

merida: pls tell me im not the only one who's voice inside their head yelled when reading the messages in caps 

ASSet: i said i was sorry alright? how much more do you want

birdbrain: tell that to my black eye. i cant believe on our first day of senior year im gonna have a black eye 

birdbrain: fuck you bucky 

ASSet: at least you're not going to deal with my mom's death stares for the next month 

birdbrain: THATS YOUR OWN FAULT 

birdbrain: your mom's the coolest person I know and somehow she has you as her son. life really isn't fair, huh 

ASSet: fuck off wilson 

birdbrain: did I hit a sore spot barnes???

merida: sam can you say hi to mama barnes for me and tell her i miss her pls 

birdbrain: she says hi back and that she misses you also 

ASSet: you literally saw her two hours ago clint after we came back from the mall 

birdbrain: CLINT MAMA BARNES SAYS SHE'S MAKING A BATCH OF CHOC CHIP COOKIES FOR YOU AND I TO TASTE TEST TOMORROW

merida: YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY GUESS WHO'S GETTING FED BITCHES 

nattynat: obviously the invitation doesn't extend to me 

birdbrain: sorry nat :(

merida: sorry nat :( we'll sneak some for you 

ASSet: wilson I can't believe you've turned my own mom against me 

ASSet: she's giving me death stares from the kitchen window 

ASSet: SHE LITERALLY POPPED ME OUT OF HER NETHER REGION SHE CANT BE MAD AT ME 

birdbrain: suck shit barnes im her favourite now 

ASSet: guess who's paying a visit to dear darlene wilson tomorrow 

birdbrain: DONT YOU DARE YOU FUCKER 

ASSet: TWO CAN PLAY AT THIS GAME WILSON 

merida: will you both stop typing in caps MY BRAIN THINKS ITS A SIGN TO YELL AND ITS GIVING ME A HEADACHE 

birdbrain: gtg mama barnes and I have a date

birdbrain: we're watching dance moms with a tub of ben and jerry's vanilla caramel fudge ;) 

ASSet: WILSON YOU FUCKER THATS MY ICE CREAM 

nattynat: this is gonna be good 

merida: i'll bring the popcorn tomorrow nat 

nattynat: and i'll bring the cans of diet coke 

birdbrain: CAN'T HEAR YOU I HAVE A BLACK EYE 

\- 

**KEEPING UP WITH THE ODINSONS **  
**MEMBERS: **  
hela odinson (seeyouinhela)  
thor odinson (thunderstruck)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)

tuesday 7:21pm 

_SEEYOUINHELA_ added _DRHULK_ to the chat 

seeyouinhela: since you and thor have been together for over six months we have decided that you can be added to our chat 

drhulk: thanks hela this is sweet! :) 

lokidyinginside: i didn't want him in the chat 

seeyouinhela: shut up snake 

thunderstruck: shut up idiots. I don't want you scaring bruce away 

seeyouinhela: did you just call /me/ an idiot

lokidyinginside: did you just call /me/ an idiot 

thunderstruck: D I D I S T U T T E R ? ? ? 

seeyouinhela: you better run for your life 

lokidyinginside: bruce say goodbye to your boyfriend 

thunderstruck: AHHHHHHHHHHHHehbefhrgbhgrvgropwbhef-17y364ygu4bhrghbj12894yghbjfg

lokidyinginside: holy shit thor just got body slammed by hela 

lokidyingside: thorgettingbodyslammedbyhela.mp3

drhulk: 

drhulk: what is this family 

\- 

tuesday 8:07pm

thunderstruck: thanks to my psychotic sister I have a black eye for the first day of school 

lokidyinginside: thats what you get bitch 

seeyouinhela: I can't believe I'm agreeing with the snake but

seeyouinhela: thats what you get bitch 

drhulk: thor are you okay???

lokidyinginside: the princess just has a bruised ego HEH

thunderstruck: listen here you snake 

drhulk: so is everybody ready for school tomorrow??

lokidyinginside: the only thing im ready for is for the school burn down to ground

drhulk: 

thunderstruck: istg loki if theres a fire tomorrow 

lokidyingside: if i wanted to set the school on fire i wouldn't be telling you 

lokidyinginside: i would have done it already 

lokidyinginside: im not an amateur 

thunderstruck: im this close to calling 911 on you 

lokidyinginside: would you like to get body slammed for the second time tonight? 

drhulk: are you all this violent? 

seeyouinhela: have you seen who our father is? 

lokidyingside: not me, im adopted 

thunderstruck: and somehow you have inherited his murderous tendencies 

lokidyingside: do i smell popcorn? 

seeyouinhela: i've just put in the breakfast club come down if you want bitch 

seeyouinhela: or don't. idgaf

seeyouinhela: but get your own popcorn 

lokidyinginside: i would expect nothing less 

drhulk: what is this family 

\- 

**TWO BROS CHILLIN IN THE HOT TUB **  
**MEMBERS: **  
tony stark (tonystank)  
bruce banner (drhulk) 

tuesday 11:56pm

tonystank: bruce are you awake? 

drhulk: what's up tony? is everything okay? 

tonystank: you know how school's starting up tomorrow 

tonystank: and this is the first time im seeing steve in a year since he left 

drhulk: its okay to be nervous 

tonystank: im just scared that hes gonna betray me again 

tonystank: idk if i can trust him fully again 

drhulk: hey its okay. its understandable that you can't trust him immediately after everything that happened 

drhulk: and if steve cant respect that then that's on him 

drhulk: but hes really sorry and he regrets what he did 

tonystank: i know he is but its hard for me to trust him 

tonystank: its just gonna take time 

drhulk: im sure steve gets that 

tonystank: sorry for bothering you with this 

drhulk: tony, you're never bothering me, please don't think that way. if you ever need to talk you know im always here to listen 

tonystank: thanks bruce, i don't know what i would do without you 

tonystank: do you wanna sleep over tomorrow night? mom and howard are leaving for a business trip tomorrow morning 

drhulk: and you don't want to be alone? 

tonystank: not really 

drhulk: i'll bring an overnight bag with me to school tomorrow 

tonystank: thanks bruce 

\- 

**SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY **  
**MEMBERS: **  
scott lang (pissant)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)  
wanda maximoff (sabrinatheteenagewitch)  
pietro maximoff (needforspeed)  
shuri (queenshuri)  
peter parker (peterparkerz)  
stephen strange (strangerthings) 

wednesday 1:13am 

pissant: guess who just spent the last week of the summer holidays having a friends marathon??

pissant: this bitch

lokidyinginside: why the fuck didn't you invite me asshole I needed an escape from the hellhole that is my house 

pissant: because i wanted to spend time with hope 

pissant: her father was away on a "business trip" so it was the perfect opportunity for us to hang out without him around 

queenshuri: why is business trip in quotation marks?

pissant: because hope's father is shady af and i don't believe a word he says 

needforspeed: what does hope's father do again? 

pissant: he's a scientist for the government 

pissant: he's always vague about what he does 

pissant: not even hope knows 

lokidyinginside: what a shady asshole 

pissant: I KNOW 

peterparkerz: I think we know what time it is gang 

pissant: SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY 

peterparkerz: YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE

needforspeed: YOUR LOVE LIFE’S D.O.A

sabrinatheteenagewitch: IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR

queenshuri: WHEN IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY, YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH OR EVEN YOUR YEAR, BUT 

lokidyinginside: I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU 

pissant: (WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO POUR) 

peterparkerz: I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU 

needforspeed: (LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE)

sabrinatheteenagewitch: I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU 

queenshuri: (CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO)

pissant: wow gang that brought a tear to my eye 

strangerthings: what the actual fuck you clowns its 1:30 in the morning 

strangerthings: i hate you all 

peterparkerz: you don't mean that :( 

strangerthings: fine i hate all of you except peter 

pissant: hey he was singing along too 

strangerthings: sorry let me rephrase that: 

stranger things: i only hate scott now

pissant: WHAT 

pissant: WHY

strangerthings: you're annoying which translates to me being stressed

strangerthings: you make me so stressed that i have grey hairs starting to grow 

pissant: stephen you don't mean that :(

strangerthings: yes i do 

pissant: :( 

\- 

**OLD TOWN ROAD   
****MEMBERS:  
**bucky barnes (ASSet)  
sam wilson (birdbrain)  
natasha romanoff (nattynat)  
clint barton (merida)

wednesday 10:19am 

birdbrain: so thanks to barnes over here, thor and I got pulled into fury’s office because the school thinks we got into a fight because we both have black eyes 

ASSet: HAHAHA that’s funny because if you and thor did ever get into a fight, you would be unconscious in hospital 

birdbrain: go to hell barnes 

ASSet: hell’s wherever you are wilson

merida: I mean,,, bucky’s not wrong 

merida: noah fence, sam but thor’s built like a BRICK 

merida: at his old school, he and the main part of his offense on the football team were called thor and the warrior’s three 

merida: so sam you have no chance 

birdbrain: gee it’s nice to see that I have such supportive friends

nattynat: I JUST WITNESSED SHARON CARTER BEATING UP EDDIE BROCK BECAUSE HE WAS TAKING PICTURES OF HER ASS HOLY SHIT I LOVE GIRLS 

merida: ew nat stop being horny on main

nattynat: 40% of this groupchat is you moping over steve, clint

merida: what’s the other 50%? 

birdbrain: 50% CLINT YOU THINK 50 AND 40 ADD UP TO 100? 

merida: YOU KNOW IM FAILING MATHS 

birdbrain: YOU’RE FAILING LIFE 

merida: that too 

merida: nat you still haven’t answered my question 

nattynat: the other 60% is bucky and sam bitching 

nattynat: but I’m not going to complain. it’s a wonderful source of entertainment 

birdbrain: hold up, its second period. why are you all on your phones??? 

ASSet: you started this convo wilson 

nattynat: do you really think I care to pay attention to u.s history? 

merida: do you really think i’m in class right now? 

birdbrain: clint meet me at the tennis courts asap, I don’t wanna go to french

merida: on it chief 

birdbrain: p.s thor says he’s gonna join us, he hates french as well

ASSet: thor does french?

birdbrain: he says he wants to learn for bruce

merida: that’s our homecoming kings right there 

merida: maybe I can drop some hints about steve

birdbrain: pls do im sick of every second word coming out of your mouth being steve

birdbrain: hold up clint, thor says the tennis courts are too obvious, we’re heading to the janitor’s closet near the science labs 

merida: already there hotshot 

birdbrain: you fell through the vents didn’t you 

merida: no comment 

-

wednesday 1:46pm

ASSet: thanks to stark im fucking on detention today after school

birdbrain: that’s karma bitch

ASSet: karma for what

birdbrain: for shooting me in the face

ASSet: oh it’s worth it then

birdbrain: guess i’ll just tell mama barnes the real reason why you’re late

ASSet: don’t you fucking dare

nattynat: why did you get detention? 

ASSet: stark and I got paired up in chemistry, and we all know that stark’s a fucking smug asshole and that he’s got a bone to pick with me 

ASSet: so we start fighting over how to do the experiment and we ended up knocking over some chemicals into the beaker which caused an explosion 

ASSet: this is all stark’s fault. I hate him 

\- 

**THE BREAKFAST CLUB   
** **MEMBERS:  
**tony stark (tonystank)  
steve rogers (goldenboysteve)  
thor odinson (thunderstruck)  
bruce banner (drhulk)  
james rhodes (rhoderunner)

wednesday 1:50pm

tonystank: because of bucky fucking barnes got i got detention after school 

drhulk: what happened??

tonystank: we got paired up as lab partners in chemistry and we all know how much of an asshole barnes is so naturally we got into a fight. chemicals got knocked over and fell into the beaker causing an explosion 

rhoderunner: im sorry tony that’s pretty funny 

tonystank: I don’t find this funny at all. It hasn’t even been a whole day at school and already i end up in detention 

tonystank. this is all barnes’ fault. I hate him 

\- 

**UNTITLED CHATROOM**  
**MEMBERS: **  
tony stark (tonystank)  
bucky barnes: (ASSet) 

wednesday 3:47pm

tonystank: I hate you so much barnes 

ASSet: the feeling’s mutual stark 


	2. it’s science, bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which mama barnes bakes cookies for sam and clint, tony and bruce pull an all nighter watching chick flicks, playing Wii and creating explosions in the kitchen in the name of science and bucky ends up on peter quill’s bad side

**THE BREAKFAST CLUB  
** MEMBERS:   
tony stark (tonystank)  
steve rogers (goldenboysteve)  
thor odinson (thunderstruck)  
bruce banner (drhulk)  
james rhodes (rhoderunner)

wednesday 4:10 pm 

tonystank: its official 

tonystank: i hate bucky barnes 

goldenboysteve: tony 

tonystank: WE HAD TO CLEAR THE SHOWER DRAINS IN THE BOYS' LOCKER ROOM WITH THE CREEPY ASS JANITOR 

goldenboysteve: dennis is still there?! 

tonystank: the next time I see barnes im gonna punch him in the face 

thunderstruck: is that wise, tony? bucky does have a metal arm 

tonystank: how did he end up with that metal arm anyway?

thunderstruck: i heard he was involved in a car crash 

drhulk: how'd you hear this? 

thunderstruck: sam told me in french, but don't tell anyone. bucky doesn't want everybody knowing 

tonystank: sam wilson? as in bucky's friend? 

drhulk: i don't really think they're friends, tony. they're always at each other's throats 

goldenboysteve: bucky and sam hate each other? i thought they were dating and their fighting was their way of hiding it 

tonystank: bucky's the proudest gay in the school 

tonystank: his instagram is full of him and his mom attending pride parades together 

tonystank: i wish at least one of my parents were supportive of me 

goldenboysteve: tony 

tonystank: so bruce i'll meet you at my place? 

drhulk: thor's driving me over as we speak 

thunderstruck: amongst other things ;) 

drhulk: THOR STOP TEXTING AND DRIVING 

tonystank: thor you're welcome to stay over as well if you want 

thunderstruck: thanks tony, but i have to get home before hela and loki set the house on fire 

thunderstruck: its their time of the month

tonystank: their what 

thunderstruck: once a month they both have murderous tendencies 

thunderstruck: more so than usual 

tonystank: that explains why i caught loki hanging around near the fire alarms during fourth period 

goldenboysteve: glad to see that things haven't changed 

tonystank: you were only gone a year, steve. not five 

goldenboysteve: a year is a long time, tony

tonystank: ur right. it's funny how unrecognisable people are in a year 

goldenboysteve: tony please 

tonystank: bruce i'm gonna stop by and grab some watermelon sour patch kids. is there anything you want? 

drhulk: can you grab some reese's pieces please? 

tonystank: on it chief

\- 

**OLD TOWN ROAD**  
**MEMBERS: **  
bucky barnes (ASSet)  
sam wilson (birdbrain)  
natasha romanoff (nattynat)  
clint barton (merida)

wednesday 4:57pm

merida: BUCKY WHERE ARE YOU

merida: YOUR MISSING OUT ON YOUR MOM'S COOKIES 

birdbrain: who said we're gonna leave any for him? 

ASSet: IM PULLING UP INTO THE DRIVEWAY

ASSet: IF YOU HAD THE LAST COOKIE WILSON 

birdbrain: HAHAHAHAHAHA

nattynat: you're all so immature 

birdbrain: we saved you some for tomorrow nat 

nattynat: i don't want them 

merida: lies 

merida: i see the look you make when mama barnes makes cookies for sam and i and not you 

nattynat: fuck off clint 

\- 

**TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND**  
**MEMBERS: **  
bucky barnes (ASSet)  
natasha romanoff (nattynat) 

wednesday 5:01pm

ASSet: hey nat are you okay

nattynat: im fine 

ASSet: im sorry about clint and sam. you know how they get 

nattynat: i said im fine 

ASSet: i've know you long enough to know that you're not 

nattynat: i really don't care that your family don't like me

nattynat: i don't care about anyone's opinion really 

ASSet: but it still hurts?

nattynat: yeah. 

ASSet: look, i'll tell sam and clint to tone it down, ok? 

nattynat: you don't have to 

ASSet: but i want to, because i care about you 

nattynat: i care about you too, doofus 

ASSet: :) 

**\- **

**UNTITLED CHAT   
** **MEMBERS:   
**

bucky barnes (ASSet) added _MERIDA_ and _BIRDBRAIN_ to the chat 

wednesday 5:17pm 

ASSet: hey dudes i know you're excited about my mom's cookies 

ASSet: because they're the bomb, i know 

ASSet: but could you tone it down for nat

ASSet: pls 

birdbrain: shit, i didnt realise. sorry, man 

birdbrain: we'll tone it down 

merida: yeah ofc :(((((

ASSet: thanks dudes 

merida: i think this is the first time bucky and sam have had a civil conversation 

ASSet: 

birdbrain: 

merida: ITS WEDNESDAY MY DUDES 

\- 

**THE BREAKFAST CLUB **  
**MEMBERS: **  
tony stark (tonystank)  
steve rogers (goldenboysteve)  
thor odinson (thunderstruck)  
bruce banner (drhulk)  
james rhodes (rhoderunner)

thursday 12:02am

tonystank: HOLY SHIT MY DUDES BRUCEY AND I CAUSED AN EXPLOSION IN THE KITCHEN 

tonystank: [boombitch.mp3]

thunderstruck: IS BRUCE OKAY

tonystank: ofc he is,,,, he's with me 

thunderstruck: thats why im concerned 

goldenboysteve: why were you causing an explosion??

tonystank: it's science, bitch 

goldenboysteve: just go to bed tony, it's late 

tonystank: gtg bruce is setting up the wii 

tonystank: bruce is gonna get is ass handed to him in wii bowling 

drhulk: the only one getting his ass handed to him is you 

tonystank: GAME ON 

thunderstruck: go bruce!!!

drhulk: thanks babe <333

tonystank: wow thor i see how it is 

thunderstruck: sorry stark its my duty as a boyfriend to support bruce in every way possible 

goldenboysteve: this is so wholesome 

tonystank: ew,,,, romance 

drhulk: tony, you cry every time you watch 27 dresses 

tonystank: no comment 

\- 

**THE WORST THING ABOUT PRISON WAS THE DEMENTORS**  
**MEMBERS: **  
thor odinson (thunderstruck)  
bruce banner (drhulk) 

thursday 7:47am

thunderstruck: i just wanted to ask how the sleepover went and if tony's okay. he's been icy towards steve ever since steve said he was coming back 

drhulk: he's still not over everything that happened with steve 

drhulk: steve really broke his trust 

thunderstruck: steve feels really bad about it 

drhulk: i know he does, but steve has to understand that tony doesn't trust easily, and he threw tony's trust back into his face 

thunderstruck: im just worried about tony, is all 

drhulk: we all are, but we just have to give him time

drhulk: and not pressure him. that'll only push him further away 

drhulk: I think I’m gonna stay over tony’s for the week until his parents get back 

drhulk: I don’t like the thought of him being alone 

thunderstruck: ofc

thunderstruck: ur a good friend bruce

thunderstruck: do you want me to swing by and pick up you and tony? 

drhulk: yes please 

thunderstruck: omw

-

**OLD TOWN ROAD   
** **MEMBERS:  
** bucky barnes (ASSet)  
sam wilson (birdbrain)  
natasha romanoff (nattynat)  
clint barton (merida)

thursday 8:04am 

birdbrain: bucky just tried to throw water balloons at my car and ended up throwing them at coulson's car 

birdbrain: HAHAHAHA HES FUCKED 

birdbrain: OH SHIT QUILL'S GETTING THE BLAME 

birdbrain: BUCKY'S GONNA GET BASHEDDDD

ASSet: WILSON SHUT THE FUCK UP AND HELP ME

birdbrain: why should I help you

birdbrain: you tried to throw water balloons at my car

ASSet: U ATE THE LAST OF MY MOM’S COOKIES AND TOLD ME THE REST WERE FOR NAT

birdbrain: THEY ARE

ASSet: ALL SIX? I DONT THINK SO

birdbrain: don’t be so greedy man

birdbrain: its not a good look on you 

ASSet: fuk you wilsAOSHDJFBFJRB-22!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

merida: wtf

birdbrain: BUCKY GOT BODY SLAMMED BY QUILL

birdbrain: AHAHAHA IT WAS GLORIOUS

merida: send a video or it didn’t happen

birdbrain: [bitchboybodyslammed.mp3]

nattynat: I am surrounded by idiots

merida: what about me nat??? :(

nattynat: I am surrounded by idiots 

ASSet: thanks for nothing WILSON

birdbrain: how are u even alive????

ASSet: quill’s gf told quill off for bashing me 

ASSet: and u know that gamora has quill wrapped around her finger

ASSet: thank fuck for gamora

nattynat: if only she was into girls

merida: what happened to sharon carter?

nattynat: a girl’s gotta have options

merida: u unloyal hoe

nattynat: how’s been loyal to steve going for u clint

merida: low blow, nat, low blow :( 

\- 

**SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY **  
**MEMBERS: **  
scott lang (pissant)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)  
wanda maximoff (sabrinatheteenagewitch)  
pietro maximoff (needforspeed)  
shuri (queenshuri)  
peter parker (peterparkerz)  
stephen strange (strangerthings) 

thursday 8:47am

pissant: sam sent me a video of bucky barnes being body slammed by peter quill

lokidyinginside: send it you bitch 

pissant: loki y u so mean :(

lokidyinginside: mean is my middle name 

strangerthings: why would sam send it to you? ur not even a senior 

pissant: sam and I go way back 

strangerthings: since when? 

pissant: since none of ur business 

pissant: anywho here’s the video. enjoy

pissant: [bitchboybodyslammed.mp3] 

queenshuri: sam's right barnes is a bitch boy 

lokidyinginside: I want this tattooed on my forehead 

lokidyinginside: thor could do better than this and he is the ultimate bitch

needforspeed: loki ur brother is built like a fucking BRICK

lokidyinginside: **adopted brother

lokidyinginside: get it right u peasant 

peterparkerz: I feel bad for bucky after watching this :(((

pissant: pete ur so precious and too good for this world 

pissant: the world doesn’t deserve peter parker

sabrinatheteenagewitch: shit scott are you ok??

strangerthings: what happened 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: scott just started crying in calculus guys 

needforspeed: scotty are you ok??

pissant: yeah i’m just said bc I miss hope :(((

lokidyinginside: I don’t get how she is still with you 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: loki. not the time 

lokidyinginside: everybody says honesty is the best policy but when I’m honest nobody likes it 

lokidyinginside: make up ur mind peasants 

\- 

thursday 12:02pm 

lokidyinginside: guess which sick bitch just stole their sister’s credit card? 

lokidyinginside: that’s what she gets for locking me out the house 

strangerthings: ur home life disturbs me

lokidyingside: thats bc ur a weak hoe 

lokidyinginside: guess who’s gonna order off uber eats using hela’s credit card?? tell me what u want ur all in for a feast 

pissant: MCDONALDS MCDONALDS 

lokidyinginside: im only agreeing bc I feel bad for what I said earlier 

queenshuri: I cant - is this - is loki feeling /bad/ 

queenshuri: am I dreaming or is this real 

lokidyinginside: die peasant 

-

**THE BREAKFAST CLUB  
** MEMBERS:   
tony stark (tonystank)  
steve rogers (goldenboysteve)  
thor odinson (thunderstruck)  
bruce banner (drhulk)  
james rhodes (rhoderunner)

thursday 12:33pm

tonystank: thor ur brother just got delivered uber eats for his whole group 

thunderstruck: that snake didn’t get me anything 

thunderstruck: how did he even pay 

thunderstruck: holy shit he stole hela’s credit card

thunderstruck: guess i’ll be down a sibling after tonight 

tonystank: god I wonder about ur family sometimes thor 

tonystank: now i wanna order uber eats 

goldenboysteve: i dont think thats a good idea tony 

tonystank: i dont remember asking for ur opinion, steve 

drhulk: thor, did loki just stick the middle finger at fury

thunderstruck: i’m so embarrassed 

thunderstruck: thank fuck he’s adopted 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't forget to leave a kudos and comment!!


	3. sk8er boi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which we see the aftermath of loki stealing hela’s credit card, sam and bucky channel their inner avril lavigne and the juniors (and stephen) make it their mission to cheer scott up on the weekend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is long overdue! sorry for it being so late, I've been busy lately and haven't had the chance to sit down and write. nevertheless I hope you enjoy this chapter. don't forget to leave a comment and kudos!

**SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY  
** **MEMBERS:  
** scott lang (pissant)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)  
wanda maximoff (sabrinatheteenagewitch)  
pietro maximoff (needforspeed)  
shuri (queenshuri)  
peter parker (peterparkerz)  
stephen strange (strangerthings)

friday 4:52pm 

lokidyinginside: do any of you bitches wanna hang out tonight? I can’t stand being in the same house with my hoebag of a sister 

needforspeed: ur only saying that because hela drove to school and put you in a headlock when the uber eats guy came in front of the whole school 

lokidyinginside: die peasant 

strangerthings: i have said this before and i will say it again

strangerthings: your home life disturbs me 

lokidyinginside: stfu you peasant 

pissant: i can’t believe that the teachers just stood there and let it happen. my goal in life is to be feared that much I can do anything I want 

lokidyinginside: you collected ants from the garden and let them escape through the air vents. hardly frightening if you ask me 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: loki. 

pissant: i thought it was funny :(

lokidyinginside: whatever. if none of you want to hang out I’ll just watch back to the future wishing I could go back and erase hela ever being born 

strangerthings: loki do you have to be so melodramatic 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: LORDE 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: OUR THING PROGRESSES, I CALL YOU AND YOU COME THROUGH

sabrinatheteenagewitch: BLOW ALL MY FRIENDSHIPS TO SIT IN HELL WITH YOU 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: BUT WE’RE THE GREATEST, THEY’LL HANG US IN THE LOUVRE 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: DOWN BY THE BACK, WHO CARES, STILL THE LOUVRE 

lokidyinginside: blah thank god that’s over 

needforspeed: just be glad you don’t have to listen to her screeching in the shower 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: i don’t screech,, i sing 

needforspeed: u wish 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: asshole 

\- 

**OLD TOWN ROAD   
** **MEMBERS:  
** bucky barnes (ASSet)  
sam wilson (birdbrain)  
natasha romanoff (nattynat)  
clint barton (merida)

friday 9:32pm 

ASSet: waddup bitches

merida: yo hoe 

birdbrain: fuck off barnes 

ASSet: ur not my bitch wilson, ur a pussy 

birdbrain: listen here you rat 

nattynat: could you two just shut up for once 

ASSet: no can do natty

birdbrain: he started it 

nattynat: what do you want 

ASSet: do you guys wanna hang out tomorrow? I’m gonna be home alone and bored out of my mind 

merida: not tomorrow, im busy sorry

nattynat: im busy too, sorry 

birdbrain: …. 

birdbrain: fuck me why am I the only one who is free 

ASSet: nvm i would rather stay home alone and be bored out of my brain 

-

**TOM AND JERRY** **  
** **MEMBERS:   
** bucky barnes (ASSet)   
sam wilson (birdbrain)  


friday 9:38pm   
  
birdbrain: hey asshole, I know we’re not the best of friends 

birdbrain: but honestly i’m home alone too tomorrow and i’m most likely gonna procrastinate and not do any of my homework 

birdbrain: so,,, we can hang out tomorrow if u like 

birdbrain: or not, it’s up to you

ASSet: wow sammy thats the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me 

ASSet: im blushing rn 

birdbrain: dont be an asshole about it, asshole 

birdbrain: and dont call me sammy 

ASSet: sorry sammy 

ASSet: what time can u be at mine? My family is leaving around 9:30 

birdbrain: i can be at yours at 10 

ASSet: see you then 

birdbrain: do you want me to bring over some jolly ranchers? Found a packet of them in my pantry

ASSet: sammy you know the way to my heart 

birdbrain: you got it james ;) 

ASSet: fuck off u sound like my great aunt vera

birdbrain: is that the one with all the cats? 

ASSet: YES and the cats aren’t even cute 

ASSet: they’re old and mean like her 

birdbrain: u shouldn’t speak about family like that james

ASSet: her cat named marlon always hisses scratches at me every time my family visits 

birdbrain: she named her cat after the dad from finding nemo? 

ASSet: no you idiot. He’s named after the actor marlon brando

ASSet: HOLD ON. YOU THINK THE DAD’S NAME FROM FINDING IS SPELT MARLON? 

birdbrain: how else is it spelt dumbass?? 

ASSet: ITS SPELT MARLIN YOU CLOWN 

birdbrain: NO ITS NOT 

ASSet: look it up 

birdbrain: …. 

birdbrain: fuck 

ASSet: AHAHAHAHA 

-

**OLD TOWN ROAD   
** **MEMBERS:  
** bucky barnes (ASSet)  
sam wilson (birdbrain)  
natasha romanoff (nattynat)  
clint barton (merida)

friday 9:58pm 

ASSet: ATTENTION EVERYBODY I HAVE SOME NEWS 

birdbrain: DONT YOU FUCKING DARE BARNES 

ASSet: SAM THINKS THAT THE DAD’S NAME FROM FINDING NEMO IS SPELT MARLON

birdbrain: BUCKY YOU BITCH IM NOT BRINGING JOLLY RANCHERS FOR YOU TOMORROW 

merida: thats how its spelt isn’t it?? 

ASSet: no its spelt M-A-R-L-I-N 

merida: since when??

merida: my whole life has been a lie 

birdbrain: see!! im not the only one 

nattynat: i am surrounded by idiots 

ASSet: ME?????

ASSet: HOW 

ASSet: AM 

ASSet: I 

ASSet: AN 

ASSet: IDIOT

nattynat: exhibit a: you leave clint alone at the mall just to take pictures of yourself 

nattynat: exhibit b: you shoot sam in the face with a nerf gun 

ASSet: HE INSULTED JOHN BENDER 

nattynat: i am not finished 

nattynat: exhibit c: you got detention on the first day of school

ASSet: THAT WAS ONLY PARTLY MY FAULT 

nattynat: exhibit d: you threw water balloons at coulson’s car 

ASSet: in my defence they were aimed for sam’s car 

birdbrain: and that makes it better because??

ASSet: its you 

nattynat: exhibit e: you blamed quill and then proceeded to get body slammed by quill who everybody knows is the best fighter at school 

nattynat: and all this only happened in one week 

nattynat: imagine if i listed everything idiotic you’ve done since we’ve been friends 

ASSet: i just came to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked right now 

merida: if you can dish it you gotta know how to take it 

ASSet: clint whose side are you on? 

merida: just calling it how i see it 

ASSet: you all better sleep with one eye open. I’m coming for all of you 

birdbrain: how? ur gonna throw water balloons at the wrong car again? 

ASSet: careful wilson otherwise ur gonna have matching black eyes 

birdbrain: oooooh im so scared 

birdbrain: guess what bitch boy? im not bringing the jolly ranchers tomorrow 

ASSet: not cool, wilson

birdbrain: i just opened the packet and had one 

birdbrain: wow i didn't know how good the watermelon flavour was- 

ASSet: WILSON YOU SON OF A

merida: is bucky ok? 

nattynat: [bitchboybucky .mp4]

nattynat: a present from bucky’s sister 

birdbrain: HAHAHAHA i love barnes junior 

merida: is bucky screaming into his pillow???

ASSet: love you too sam!!!

ASSet: yes clint he is!! he hasn’t had jolly ranchers in ages as dad is on some health kick and has dragged bucky along with him 

ASSet: but don’t worry. mom is still baking her cookies

birdbrain: BEC MY QUEEN 

merida: HI BEC 

ASSet: hi clint, hi sam, hi nat!!!

nattynat: what's ur idiotic brother doing now? 

ASSet: he wants to go out to buy jolly ranchers but dad told him no and now he's throwing a tantrum like a toddler 

ASSet: gtg bucky's coming back

birdbrain: BYE BARNES JUNIOR

merida: BYE QUEEN BEC 

nattynat: bye to the superior barnes sibling 

ASSet: WTF BEC IS A RAT 

ASSet: just like the rest of u,, smh fake friends 

ASSet: i am the superior barnes sibling 

nattynat: sorry bec has a claim on that title 

ASSet: wow,, ur all blocked 

ASSet: gtg find some real friends 

birdbrain: bye bitch

\- 

**KEEPING UP WITH THE ODINSONS **  
**MEMBERS:  
** hela odinson (seeyouinhela)  
thor odinson (thunderstruck)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)  
bruce banner (drhulk)

friday 10:39pm 

drhulk: is that scott lang watching the back to the future trilogy with loki??

seeyouinhela: wow the snake has friends??

lokidyinginside: fuk you hela you bitch-ass looking hoebag 

seeyouinhela: so ur talking to me now 

lokidyinginside: ignored, deleted and blocked, bitch 

thunderstruck: i think it's nice loki invited scott over!!

lokidyinginside: dont get too excited

lokidyinginside: its only because he's sad about his girlfriend and im bored 

lokidyinginside: and i said something mean and the group hopped on my dick about it 

thunderstruck: is this loki feeling R E M O R S E ????

seeyouinhela: what a foreign concept 

lokidyinginside: keep messing with me and i'll steal your credit card again and max it out as i go to gucci 

seeyouinhela: do you want me to throw your other gucci slides out in the trash to be collected and thrown into the dump 

seeyouinhela: keep testing me 

lokidyinginside: do it. i've already ordered my new gucci's 

thunderstruck: with what money?? you lost your job at mcdonald's for threatening to bitch-slap one of the customers and blew all the money you had on the school field trip to washington at the end of the school year

thunderstruck: and odin said he's cutting you off because of it 

lokidyinginside: that rare collectable abraham washington bobble head was worth it 

thunderstruck: for what?

lokidyinginside: when i shove it up your ass for asking stupid fucking questions 

drhulk: wait,, that field trip was the one where a group of students snuck off to go to the washington national cathederal to look at a darth vader gargoyle 

lokidyinginside: it was overrated and a waste of time 

drhulk: why am i not surprised that was you 

lokidyinginside: scott suggested it, i just directed everyone to the damn place 

lokidyinginside: there were many other things we did on that field trip that the school doesn't know of 

thunderstruck: it's times like these i am thankful you are adopted 

lokidyinginside: the feeling is mutual 

lokidyinginside: there's no way i would want to share blood with a big bitch like you 

-

**TOM AND JERRY** **  
** **MEMBERS:   
** bucky barnes (ASSet)   
sam wilson (birdbrain)

saturday 10:07am

birdbrain: yo im pulling up now 

ASSet: im in the treehouse 

ASSet: wait how are u texting and driving 

ASSet: that’s dangerous and illegal, wilson

birdbrain: says the law-abiding citizen

birdbrain: not 

birdbrain: besides,, im not even driving anyway 

ASSet: did u seriously walk to my house from yours

birdbrain: NO 

birdbrain: I skated over here 

birdbrain: took me fucking 4ever to find my penny board 

ASSet: AHAHAHA ur channeling ur inner VSCO girl 

birdbrain: VSCO girls did not invent skateboarding, barnes 

birdbrain: btw i’m channeling my inner avril lavigne 

ASSet: now that u mention it, that sounds fun 

ASSet: avril lavigne helped me realise I was gay 

birdbrain: how the fuck did she-

birdbrain: nvm I dont wanna know 

ASSet: when u get here ur helping me find my penny board 

birdbrain: I didnt sign up for this 

ASSet: too bad, so sad 

birdbrain: im here 

ASSet: IS THAT A PACKET OF JOLLY RANCHERS I SEE 

birdbrain: cant believe you fell for it 

ASSet: WILSON YOU SON OF A 

ASSet: actually I cant be angry at u, u brought me jolly ranchers 

birdbrain: how sweet of u 

ASSet: dont push it

\- 

**UNTITLED CHAT **   
**MEMBERS: **

_sabrinatheteenagewitch_ added _lokidyinginside_, _needforspeed_, _queenshuri_, _peterparkerz_ and _strangerthings_

saturday 10:16am

sabrinatheteenagewitch: hi guys ****

peterparkerz: hi wanda!! 

queenshuri: yo 

strangerthings: hi

lokidyinginside: its too early for this 

strangerthings: did someone stay up too late plotting their sister's death???

lokidyinginside: whats a sister i dont know her 

lokidyinginside: fyi scott came over last night to watch back to the future with me 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: is scott still there rn??

lokidyinginside: yes. hes sleeping 

lokidyinginside: why 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: pietro and i thought (actually i thought of it, pietro just agreed while flexing in the mirror) 

needforspeed: HEY 

needforspeed: not my fault my muscles are on an another level 

queenshuri: cool it white boy 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: anyway, its pretty obvious that scott has been down since hope left and i thought we could all cheer him up this weekend 

peterparkerz: thats a good idea!! i hate seeing scott upset :( 

queenshuri: what did you have in mind? 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: i was thinking of doing things that he likes 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: starting with a movie night tonight of all his favourite movies 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: ive spoken to our parents and they are happy for everybody to come over tonight and use the movie room 

peterparkerz: yay, movie night @ the maximoffs!!!

peterparkerz: we have to start with a bug's life

strangerthings: i dont understand what scott's obsession is with that movie 

lokidyinginside: its because its about ants, dumbass

lokiydyinginside: and ur supposed to be the school's valedictorian this year smh 

strangerthings: not with stark on my heels -_-

queenshuri: ur academic rival,, amongst other things 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: we love a good enemies to lovers situation!!!

peterparkerz: reminds me of that netflix movie candy jar!!

sabrinatheteenagewitch: THAT MOVIE WAS SO CUTE 

strangerthings: my life isnt a movie 

strangerthings: and stark and i would never happen 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: dont be too sure 

strangerthings: can we get back to scott?

sabrinatheteenagewitch: loki can you not tell scott what is happening. we want it to be a surprise 

lokidyinginside: fine. what makes you think i'll tell him anyway

queenshuri: ur you 

peterparkerz: can we get slushies from 7/11? scott loves them 

strangerthings: i can get them 

peterparkerz: i'll come with you, stephen 

strangerthings: thanks, peter 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: great! come to ours at 7 

queenshuri: do you want us to get anything else??

needforspeed: nah, wanda and i are heading to grab some snacks. is there anything specific you want?

lokidyinginside: m&ms and skittles 

needforspeed: on it chief 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: see you all tonight 

\- 

**OLD TOWN ROAD **  
** MEMBERS: **  
bucky barnes (ASSet)  
sam wilson (birdbrain)  
natasha romanoff (nattynat)  
clint barton (merida)

saturday 4:34pm 

ASSet: waddup bitches 

birdbrain: guess what we got up to 

merida: cant believe you two are alive after spending the day with each other 

birdbrain: there were times when i was questioning my decision

ASSet: lies wilson 

ASSet: you loved spending the day with me 

birdbrain: i especially loved it when you fell on your face after stacking it on your penny board 

ASSet: we do not speak about that 

merida: proof or it didnt happen 

birdbrain: [1578.mp4] 

merida: HAHAHAHA THATS HILARIOUS 

nattynat: i think i just died from secondhand embarrassment 

ASSet: thanks snakes 

birdbrain: any time 

nattynat: what were you two doing skateboarding anyway 

ASSet: wilson came over riding his penny board and it reminded me of mine in the shed 

birdbrain: he made me look with him in that insect-infested shed 

birdbrain: i actually think i got bitten by something 

ASSet: shut up you big baby you'll be fine 

ASSet: anyway,, so we then went to the skate park 

ASSet: and channeled our inner avril lavigne 

ASSet: [sk8erboibitches.mp4] 

nattynat: what the fuck you two 

merida: u two look like gay skater twinks 

ASSet: dont hate 

birdbrain: sk8ter boi bitches 

merida: lowkey wish i was there :(((

birdbrain: we wish you were there too clint 

birdbrain: and you too nat 

ASSet: we could have recreated the video 

ASSet: i would obviously be avril lavigne 

ASSet: nat would be the preppy girl who thought she was too good for avril's sk8er boi 

ASSet: even though ur not a preppy girl, nat. ur an edgy and badass lesbian 

nattynat: thank you. 

ASSet: and clint would be avril's sk8er boi 

birdbrain: and where the fuck am i??

ASSet: behind the scenes bitch 

ASSet: where u belong 

\- 

**SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY  
** **MEMBERS:  
** scott lang (pissant)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)  
wanda maximoff (sabrinatheteenagewitch)  
pietro maximoff (needforspeed)  
shuri (queenshuri)  
peter parker (peterparkerz)  
stephen strange (strangerthings)

sunday 2:22am 

pissant: hi guys i know its late but i just wanted to tell you how much i appreciate you all 

pissant: i know i havent been in the best mood lately, but you all trying to cheer me up has improved my mood by 1000000000000% 

pissant: im just grateful to have such caring friends in my life :) 

peterparkerz: aw scott!!!!

peterparkerz: im happy to see that ur happy 

queenshuri what he said ^^

needforspeed: yeh dude ^^^

pissant: thanks wanda and pietro for organising this, and for stephen for bringing the 7/11 slushies 

strangerthings: ofc scott, even though ur a pain in my ass at times i wanna see u happy 

lokidyinginside: what about me bitch 

lokidyinginside: i was with you all day and i didnt tell you what was happening 

pissant: thanks loki :) for today and for yesterday 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: ur so sweet scotty xxxxxxxxx

pissant: i sent hope the photo of what you guys did for me, and she's incredibly jealous 

pissant: and she wanted me to tell you that shes happy i have friends like you in my life 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: hope <333333333

strangerthings: hope's the only emotionally mature junior i know 

needforspeed: stop flexing stephen ur only a year older than us 

strangerthings: ONLY 

strangerthings: the disrespect 

needforspeed: so my guys and gals, who wants to come over again tomorrow for a friends marathon???

peterparkerz: YES PLS 

pissant: THIS WEEKEND KEEPS ON GETTING BETTER 

queenshuri: hell yeah 

lokidyinginside: ofc 

strangerthings: i wanna eject myself into the sun 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: u say that every time and yet every time u come 

strangerthings: listen here u heathen 


	4. dream team

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which tony has to suffer through a stark family dinner, scott and loki team up to take down loki's nemesis and thor has to bail hela out of jail for the third time this month.

**THE BREAKFAST CLUB**  
**MEMBERS: **  
tony stark (tonystank)  
steve rogers (goldenboysteve)  
thor odinson (thunderstruck)  
bruce banner (drhulk)  
james rhodes (rhoderunner)

tuesday 7:25am

tonystank: guess whose parents are coming back home early from their business trip 

tonystank: the freedom was nice when it lasted 

tonystank: now back to howard complaining about how i'm going to lose the valedictorian spot to a kid who wants to become a neurosurgeon 

tonystank: because its not like becoming a neurosurgeon is harder than inheriting your father's business, but what would i know 

thunderstruck: im sorry tony ://

goldenboysteve: im really sorry tony 

rhoderunner: im sorry, tones. my mama says you can stay at ours if you want 

tonystank: thanks, but i have to stay. howard's organised this stark family dinner to make us look like the perfect fucking family even tho we're far from it 

tonystank: thank fuck jarvis is coming with us. I couldn't survive a dinner with just my parents 

drhulk: you can always message us throughout the dinner 

tonystank: i will if howard doesnt catch me 

tonystank: brucey have u done the chemistry homework? i didnt get time to do it

drhulk: i don't like how u spend so much time at stark industries neglecting your schoolwork

tonystank: nvm i'll just ask barnes to give me the homework 

tonystank: he owes me from last week anyway 

drhulk: tony 

tonystank: gotta blast 

\- 

tuesday 3:32pm 

thunderstruck: holy fuck hela got arrested 

goldenboysteve: for what??

thunderstruck: assaulting her homophobic co-worker

tonystank: doesn't hela work at the local skate rink?

thunderstruck: yes. 

tonystank: holy shit i love her 

thunderstruck: this is the third time this month she's been arrested 

goldenboysteve: how isn't she in jail??

thunderstruck: father pays off hela's victims

tonystank: ur family's fucking crazy 

tonystank: no offence 

thunderstruck: none taken 

thunderstruck: sorry bruce i can't take u home today :(

drhulk: its ok thor, steve's offered to take me home 

thunderstruck: i messaged loki telling him what happened and the idiot just left me on read 

thunderstruck: speak of the devil, he's replying 

thunderstruck: well he just told me to fuck off and that he doesnt care 

thunderstruck: lovely 

tonystank: i wish ur family had their own show 

thunderstruck: u really don't 

thunderstruck: gtg before hela gets herself arrested again 

\- 

**SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY  
** **MEMBERS:  
** scott lang (pissant)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)  
wanda maximoff (sabrinatheteenagewitch)  
pietro maximoff (needforspeed)  
shuri (queenshuri)  
peter parker (peterparkerz)  
stephen strange (strangerthings)

tuesday 6:09pm 

lokidyinginside: guess what?

lokidyinginside: my sister got arrested 

pissant: holy shit is hela going to jail?????

lokidyinginside: i wish 

queenshuri: what happened?

lokidyinginside: hela assaulted her homophobic co-worker 

needforspeed: isn't that the guy with the massive wart on his face? 

needforspeed: like lewbert from icarly 

peterparkerz: he has beady eyes like a bug 

peterparkerz: every time he looks at me i feel like he's staring right into my soul 

lokidyinginside: thats the one 

lokidyinginside: thor had to pick her up from the police station 

strangerthings: isn't this the third time this month hela has been arrested? how the hell is she not in jail? 

lokidyinginside: odin pays off hela's victims 

strangerthings: im not even surprised 

needforspeed: how does ur father have all this money if hes a school principal? 

lokidyinginside: idfk. as long as i get money i don't care where it comes from 

needforspeed: thats not,,, disturbing,,, like at ALL 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: im worried at how excited scott was at the thought of hela going to jail 

pissant: i wasnt excited, i was CURIOUS 

pissant: theres a difference 

lokidyinginside: there's more to my story 

lokidyinginside: when i was at my locker, i heard becky fuhrman, aka becky the bitch, talk shit about hela

lokidyinginside: saying shes a criminal and all this shit 

lokidyinginside: so i wanna get back at that stank-ass bitch tomorrow 

lokidyinginside: feel free to join me as i ditch tomorrow morning's welcome back to school assembly 

lokidyinginside: even tho school started a week ago 

needforspeed: but i thought u hated ur sister 

lokidyinginside: do u need to question everything i do u fucking peasant

needforspeed: no, but i like pissing u off 

lokidyinginside: u wont like it when i snap ur leg in half and u can't sprint for the track team 

needforspeed: YOU WOULD NEVER 

lokidyinginside: and besides,,, only i can talk smack about my sister

strangerthings: i cant skip the assembly tomorrow because 

strangerthings: 1) im vying to be valedictorian 

strangerthings: 2) its a fucking stupid thing to do 

pissant: its not like becky doesn't deserve it 

pissant: she talks shit about everybody 

pissant: and she called hope ugly like wtf hope is a goddess on earth 

lokidyinginside: so does that mean ur in???

pissant: ofc 

pissant: i dont wanna sit throughout another hour-long assembly for no fucking reason 

pissant: as much as i love principal carter, i'd rather skip it 

strangerthings: sorry to squash this ridiculous plan but 

strangerthings: wont becky know u did it? you two have hated each other since middle school 

lokidyinginside: i hope she does 

lokidyinginside: so then she knows who's the boss around here 

strangerthings: geez u dont have a big ego at all 

lokidyinginside: im a boss ass bitch

\- 

**THE BREAKFAST CLUB**  
**MEMBERS: **  
tony stark (tonystank)  
steve rogers (goldenboysteve)  
thor odinson (thunderstruck)  
bruce banner (drhulk)  
james rhodes (rhoderunner)

tuesday 8:48pm 

tonystank: its official this family is a fucking nightmare 

rhoderunner: what happened tony??

tonystank: the restaurant stuffed up howard's order and he lost his shit 

tonystank: over a fucking order istg

tonystank: he was carrying on it was so embarrassing 

drhulk: that sucks tony im sorry :(

tonystank: the only good thing to come out of this was that we left early 

tonystank: and jarvis is taking me to gelato 

thunderstruck: are you going to two scoops????!!!!!!

tonystank: yes 

tonystank: is it good??

thunderstruck: its the best u have to try their bubblegum gelato i would die for it 

drhulk: thor not everyone is as weird as u and likes bubblegum ice-cream 

thunderstruck: but its rainbow-coloured and tastes like heaven 

rhoderunner: try the hazelnut one!! thats my favourite 

goldenboysteve: i like vanilla 

tonystank: of course u do, steve

goldenboysteve: what? no, my other message didnt send 

goldenboysteve: i like vanilla and chocolate together 

tonystank: i'll let u guys know what i order, thanks for the suggestions 

\- 

tuesday 9:09pm 

tonystank: [1346.png]

tonystank: so i went with cookies and cream 

rhoderunner: what do you think?

tonystank: its good!! i like it 

tonystank: i cant believe i've never been here before 

drhulk: this is thor's favourite gelato place. we come here so much we're on first name basis with the owner 

thunderstruck: giuseppe and i are best friends 

drhulk: thats because you give him business 

thunderstruck: true but his gelato is so good 

thunderstruck: even loki likes it and loki doesnt like anything 

\- 

**KEEPING UP WITH THE ODINSONS  
** **MEMBERS:  
** hela odinson (seeyouinhela)  
thor odinson (thunderstruck)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)  
bruce banner (drhulk)

wednesday 7:14am 

seeyouinhela: wtaf my boss just fired me 

thunderstruck: for what happened yesterday? 

seeyouinhela: he said that im too violent and unpredictable and am a danger to the staff and customers 

thunderstruck: I mean,,, u DID attack someone 

seeyouinhela: I don’t regret dropkicking that bitch 

seeyouinhela: idec about this job. it was a hellhole

lokidyinginside: hela u stank ass bitch

lokidyinginside: who’s going to give us a discount at the skate rink now??

seeyouinhela: maybe now u can actually stop scabbing people off for discounts 

seeyouinhela: what a foreign concept 

lokidyinginside: stfu hela im mad at u 

seeyouinhela: the feeling is mutual xxxx

thunderstruck: this house is a fucking nightmare 

\- 

**UNTITLED CHAT**  
**MEMBERS: **

wednesday 9:01am

_lokidyinginside_ added _pissant_ to the chat 

_lokidyinginside_ renamed the chat **OPERATION TAKEDOWN **

_pissant_ renamed the chat **DREAM TEAM **

_lokidyinginside_ renamed the chat **OPERATION TAKEDOWN **

pissant: but i like dream team better :( 

lokidyinginside: no. 

pissant: uh fine 

pissant: what are we doing anyway 

lokidyinginside: i have a plan

lokidyinginside: and it involves ants 

pissant: i thought u said my pranks with ants were stupid 

lokidyinginside: not when my target hates all types of insects 

lokidyinginside: so at the beginning of the assembly, i need u to sneak into the science labs and steal the ant farm 

pissant: easy peasy 

lokidyinginside: and then we're gonna set them loose in becky's locker 

lokidyinginside: that'll teach her from talking shit about hela ever again 

pissant: so only ur allowed to talk shit about ur sister? 

lokidyinginside: u catch on so fast 

pissant: :)

\- 

wednesday 9:17am 

pissant: [1457.png] 

pissant: i got the goods 

lokidyinginside: hurry ur ass up to the storage room opposite becky's locker 

pissant: alright, alright. don't get ur knickers in a knot 

pissant: a thank you would be nice 

lokidyinginside: dont push ur luck 

lokidyinginside: if this all goes to plan, you might get a thank you 

lokidyinginside: and maybe a slurpee 

lokidyinginside: if i feel charitable 

pissant: u know how to butter a guy up 

lokidyinginside: less texting more walking 

pissant: maybe im doing 2 things at once!!!!!

lokidyinginside: u cant multitask to save ur life 

pissant: hit me where it hurts why dont you 

lokidyinginside: thats what im best at 

\- 

wednesday 10:03am

lokidyinginside: scott fucking hide coulson's roaming the halls 

pissant: already on it captain 

lokidyinginside: dont fucking get caught 

pissant: why would i willingly let myself get caught 

pissant: i dont want to get into trouble 

lokidyinginside: bc ur stupid 

pissant: for someone who's stupid, i have helped u a lot with this prank 

lokidyinginside: if we dont get caught we'll go to 7/11 after school to get slurpees and donuts 

pissant: ur a real one 

\-   


**SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY  
** **MEMBERS:  
** scott lang (pissant)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)  
wanda maximoff (sabrinatheteenagewitch)  
pietro maximoff (needforspeed)  
shuri (queenshuri)  
peter parker (peterparkerz)  
stephen strange (strangerthings)

wednesday 11:01am

strangerthings: loki and scott did u put ants in becky fuhrman's locker? 

lokidyinginside: maybe maybe not 

pissant: yes 

lokidyinginside: that is not what we practiced 

pissant: i can't lie to stephen 

lokidyinginside: yes you can 

lokidyinginside: you just say no 

strangerthings: well since you two DIDN'T do it, i guess i don't need to tell you that coulson's looking for you 

lokidyinginside: ffs 

pissant: that wasn't part of the plan 

lokidyinginside: dw scott i'll take the blame 

pissant: no way man 

pissant: i'm responsible too 

pissant: its alright hill is on detention duty this week 

lokidyinginside: fuck yes 

lokidyinginside: gotta go get myself a detention 

strangerthings: hold on loki 

needforspeed: wtf did loki just /willingly/ hand himself in 

strangerthings: proof or it didn't happen 

needforspeed: [5429.png] 

needforspeed: soz for the shit angle 

needforspeed: i dont want to end up on detention too, i have an important track meet coming up. i can't miss training 

queenshuri: ugh,, athletes 

strangerthings: shuri ur brother plays lacrosse 

queenshuri: ugh,, athletes 

\- 

**OLD TOWN ROAD: **  
** MEMBERS: **  
bucky barnes (ASSet)  
sam wilson (birdbrain)  
natasha romanoff (nattynat)  
clint barton (merida)

wednesday 11:10am

ASSet: holy shit loki odinson? laufeyson? just pranked some junior 

birdbrain: becky fuhrman? she and loki have been enemies since middle school

ASSet: and how do you know this? 

birdbrain: thor told me 

ASSet: are you and the school's quarterback best friends now??

birdbrain: we sit next to each other in french 

ASSet: why would someone as cool as thor want to sit with someone as lame as you??

birdbrain: you only hating because ur jealous 

ASSet: me? jealous? of you? 

birdbrain: you heard what I said 

ASSet: i just gagged 

merida: the UST in here is through the roof 

birdbrain: i just gagged 

ASSet: come up with your own lines, wilson 

birdbrain: dont think you own these words, barnes 

birdbrain: or any words of the english language for the record 

birdbrain: its free real estate 

merida: *cue meme* 

_ASSet left the chat _

birdbrain: finally some peace and quiet 

_nattynat_ added _ASSet_ to the chat 

nattynat: you are all idiots 

birdbrain: barnes is a bigger idiot 

ASSet: wilson is a bigger idiot 

nattynat: i stand by what i said 

nattynat: anyway stfu sharon carter's presenting in u.s history and all ur texting is distracting 

nattynat: so shut the fuck up 

merida: oooh nat get some 

_nattynat_ has left the chat 

merida: i think we should add her after the period has ended 

merida: i dont want my head taken off 

birdbrain: good idea 

ASSet: getting on nat's bad side is not on my to-do list today 

merida: is sam on top of that to-do list 

ASSet: u better run barton 

ASSet: but after i throw up for that mental image 

merida: gotta blast 

birdbrain: the day i even consider going out with barnes is the day i have officially lost my mind 

ASSet: the feeling's mutual wilson 

birdbrain: glad we can agree on that 


	5. break the rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the juniors skip school and head to a waterpark only to bump into the coolest seniors at avengers high, while back at school, tony and stephen's rivalry intensifies with an impromptu pop quiz in physics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for making you all wait so long for the next chapter! hope you enjoy this messy and nonsensical piece of self-indulgence

**SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY  
** **MEMBERS:  
** scott lang (pissant)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)  
wanda maximoff (sabrinatheteenagewitch)  
pietro maximoff (needforspeed)  
shuri (queenshuri)  
peter parker (peterparkerz)  
stephen strange (strangerthings)

tuesday 9:17pm 

pissant: ladies and gents 

pissant: and non-conforming d00ds 

pissant: since tomorrow is going to be ridiculously hot, i suggest we do something about it 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: like what 

pissant: skip school and hit a waterpark babyyyyy

needforspeed: im in

needforspeed: its been a week since we did something stupid 

queenshuri: but isnt it going to look suscipious if we're ALL not at school?

pissant: its ok stephen will be at school 

pissant: he said he can't have tony stark getting any advantage over him for valedictorian 

pissant: i think its just because we wants to suck stark's dick but what would i know 

strangerthings: fuck you scott has wanda been putting ideas into ur head again 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: HEY 

pissant: wanda didnt need to tell me anything i have eyes man 

pissant: i saw the way u two were eyeing each other as stark passed u in the hallway yesterday after school 

strangerthings: im going now 

strangerthings: have fun getting suspended, idiots 

lokidyinginside: its fine i'll have odin threaten fury 

lokidyinginside: odin knows someone that fury's shit scared of 

peterparkerz: oooh loki what is it 

lokidyinginside: all i'll say is that it involves one of odin's students, valkyrie and her gf carol 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: ooh i saw them at once at one of those indie concerts i go to

sabrinatheteenagewitch: they're so gorgeous and cool and badass!!

sabrinatheteenagewitch: i wish i could be like them :( 

peterparkerz: wanda ur beautiful and amazing in ur own way!! like ur the head cheerleader who's so approachable and friendly and that everybody loves!! 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: aw thanks pete <33

peterparkerz: <33

\- 

tuesday 11:43pm

pissant: waaaaait 

pissant: if loki's dad has something that scares fury does that mean we can do whatever we want and not get into trouble? 

lokidyinginside: yes 

pissant: hell yeah senior year's gonna be great

  
\- 

**KEEPING UP WITH THE ODINSONS  
** **MEMBERS:  
** hela odinson (seeyouinhela)  
thor odinson (thunderstruck)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)  
bruce banner (drhulk)

wednesday 7:57am 

lokidyinginside: yo thor don’t bother waiting for me today im not coming to school

thunderstruck: and why not? 

lokidyinginside: shut up ur not my father

thunderstruck: thank god I wouldn’t want a disappointment like you as my child 

lokidyinginside: take that back bitch 

thunderstruck: never 

lokidyinginside: I’ll tell the whole school u take steroids 

thunderstruck: I’m sorry I did not mean that you are the shining light of the family 

lokidyinginside: that’s what I thought 

drhulk: ... I am so close to leaving this group chat 

lokidyinginside: the only way u leave this group chat is when u break up with thor 

drhulk: ... guess I’m staying in this group chat then 

thunderstruck: wait 

thunderstruck: why did u use ‘when’ and not ‘if’ 

lokidyinginside: don’t worry ur pretty little head over it 

thunderstruck: LOKI

lookdyinginside: hela the gang are coming over before we go to the waterpark - fucking act cool and not like an unemployed loser okay? 

seeyouinhela: u fucking watch ur mouth 

seeyouinhela: I’ll have u know I’m the coolest student to ever walk the halls of avengers high

lokidyinginside: u wish 

thunderstruck: why is it whenever u and ur friends are planning something stupid they always come here 

lokidyinginside: the only stupid thing I see is u 

thunderstruck: I’m not even home 

lokidyinginside: ugh pls never come home 

thunderstruck: how about u take a hike down to hell and never come back 

lokidyinginside: it would be much better than looking at ur stupid face everyday

drhulk: i... feel so uncomfortable rn

lokidyinginside: my job is done

seeyouinhela: thor are u and bruce still coming straight home after school? 

thunderstruck: yes and I told u that yesterday 

thunderstruck: so this house better be empty when bruce and I get home today from school 

seeyouinhela: geez what’s got ur panties in a twist 

thunderstruck: this nightmare of a family 

\- 

**OLD TOWN ROAD: **  
**MEMBERS: **  
bucky barnes (ASSet)  
sam wilson (birdbrain)  
natasha romanoff (nattynat)  
clint barton (merida)

wednesday 8:02am

merida: yo dudes are any of u guys at school yet? 

ASSet: most definitely not 

birdbrain: no why 

merida: nat and i have decided to have to skip school and hit a waterpark 

nattynat: if u pussies are in u can come 

ASSet: fuck yeah i'm in 

ASSet: i have double chemistry and i would rather stick pins in my eyes than sit next to stark 

birdbrain: ....

birdbrain: if my mom finds out im skipping she will freak 

ASSet: pussy 

birdbrain: fuck u 

merida: come on sammmmmm

merida: pls 

birdbrain: ugh fine

nattynat: everyone head to the treehouse 

nattynat: and don't forget to bring snacks 

merida: on it chief 

ASSet: HOLD ON MY PARENTS ARE STILL HOME 

nattynat: fucking make them leave 

merida: have them take bec to school 

ASSet: and then they ask why i'm not coming with them? 

merida: say sam's picking u up 

ASSet: ok fine hold on 

nattynat: this is either going to go very wrong or very wrong 

merida: nat... you said very wrong twice 

birdbrain: clint... that was intentional 

merida: OH 

nattynat: u are so lucky i can stand u barton 

merida: keep sweet talking me nat 

ASSet: OMG OMG OMG IDIOTS AND NAT

ASSet: IT WORKED MY PARENTS BELIEVED IT 

merida: WOOOOO WATERPARK TIME HERE WE COME 

birdbrain: LETS GOOOOOO

-

**THE BREAKFAST CLUB**  
**MEMBERS: **  
tony stark (tonystank)  
steve rogers (goldenboysteve)  
thor odinson (thunderstruck)  
bruce banner (drhulk)  
james rhodes (rhoderunner)

wednesday 10:45am

tonystank: has anybody seen any of barnes’ group today?   
  
tonystank: I think they’ve skipped school

goldenboysteve: so have the juniors. thor was telling me that only strange is here at school 

tonystank: that sounds too coincidental

goldenboysteve: you think both groups are scheming together? 

tonystank: it’s common knowledge that the juniors want to take barnes group’s spot when they leave 

tonystank: I wouldn’t be surprised 

thunderstruck: loki did not mention anything about bucky barnes and his friends 

thunderstruck: loki didn’t really tell me anything, really 

thunderstruck: he never does 

thunderstruck: it’s always insults with that boy 

drhulk: their family group chat is disturbing

thunderstruck: I’ll message sam throughout the day and see if they’ve seen loki and his friends

tonystank: you and wilson are friends? 

thunderstruck: we’re partners in french. he’s cool

tonystank: I don’t see how he can be cool when he’s friends with barnes

thunderstruck: bucky barnes isn’t that bad, tony 

tonystank: have you two had a conversation, thor?

thunderstruck: no, but wilson’s told me things 

tonystank: it’s not like wilson and barnes are the best of friends. they’re always at each other’s throats 

goldenboysteve: they obviously can tolerate each other if they’re hanging out and in the same group 

tonystank: whatever. you both are obviously siding with him 

thunderstruck: im not taking anyone's side tony

goldenboysteve: you cant judge everybody tony it's not fair 

tonystank: dont preach to be what's fair and what's not fair steve 

drhulk: can we just agree to disagree and change the topic? 

tonystank: whatever. im going to the library to study 

drhulk: i can come with you if you want 

tonystank: no i want to be alone 

drhulk: tony 

tonystank: im fine ok, i just want to study. howard's on my back about my grades again 

-

**OLD TOWN ROAD: **  
**MEMBERS: **  
bucky barnes (ASSet)  
sam wilson (birdbrain)  
natasha romanoff (nattynat)  
clint barton (merida)

wednesday 11:03am

birdbrain: fuck man im shitting bricks 

birdbrain: if my mom finds out im skipping school im dead 

ASSet: wilson 

ASSet: we are supposed to be the coolest seniors in the school PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER MAN

birdbrain: ok ok im sorry 

birdbrain: temporary brain fade 

birdbrain: im back in the game 

merida: GET'CHA HEAD IN THE GAME 

merida: troy bolton was my sexual awakening 

birdbrain: ... i dont even want to know 

merida: have u seen that man

merida: he is one hell of a snack,,,

ASSet: its okay clint john bender was mine 

birdbrain: that explains why ur such an asshole 

ASSet: its like ur just asking for me to shoot you with a NERF gun again 

birdbrain: u do that and i'll tell ur dad you've been eating jolly ranchers 

ASSet: u evil person 

merida: yo sammy and nat, since bucky and i have revealed who helped us realised we weren't straight™ you have too also 

birdbrain: speak for yourselves 

birdbrain: jks im too good-looking to be tied to just girls 

ASSet: gross 

ASSet: u act like ur some greek god yet no boy or girl wants to go anywhere near u 

birdbrain: its because im too hot to handle 

birdbrain: they cant handle the heat 

nattynat: mine was angelina jolie in lara croft: tomb raider 

birdbrain: mine was cherry valance and sodapop curtis in the outsiders

birdbrain: always was a sucker for girls in knee-high skirts and boys with blue eyes 

birdbrain: and leonardo di caprio in romeo and juliet and titanic 

birdbrain: i soon realised why i was so angry at jack's death 

nattynat: this is a nice heart to heart but can we do what we came here to do??

merida: HEAD TO THE PERFECT STORM ASAP BITCHES 

birdbrain: on it chief 

\- 

**SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY  
** **MEMBERS:  
** scott lang (pissant)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)  
wanda maximoff (sabrinatheteenagewitch)  
pietro maximoff (needforspeed)  
shuri (queenshuri)  
peter parker (peterparkerz)  
stephen strange (strangerthings)

wednesday 12:17pm 

needforspeed: is that bucky barnes and his friends in the rapid river??

sabrinatheteenagewitch: are bucky and sam hitting each other with their inflatable donuts??

lokidyinginside: romanoff looks done with everybody's shit 

lokidyinginside: same 

pissant: loki dont be such a killjoy 

peterparkerz: i cant believe they're here too!!

peterparkerz: should we say hi??

pissant: nO

pissant: THEYRE THE COOLEST SENIORS AT SCHOOL 

lokidyinginside: don't cream ur pants scott 

needforspeed: scott's got a man-crush on wilson 

pissant: pietro i told u that in confidence :((

needforspeed: when i was holding u as u were throwing up into the toilet 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: was scott drunk??

needforspeed: no he just had food poisoning 

pissant: PIETRO 

pissant: U SNAKE 

needforspeed: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

queenshuri: hold on was this when we had the field trip to washington at the end of sophomore year??

pissant: no

needforspeed: yes. 

queenshuri: and was this when we all told scott to not eat the hotdog that guy was selling on the street 

pissant: no 

needforspeed: yes. 

pissant: WHAT THE DUCK PIETRO 

pissant: **FUCK 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: hold up where did peter and loki go??

queenshuri: to say hi to the seniors

pissant: WHY?????

pissant: AND YOU DIDNT THINK TO TELL ME???

queenshuri: why should i have told you??

pissant: SO I COULD HAVE STOPPED THEM 

queenshuri: dont be so dramatic scott whats the worst that could happen??

pissant: peter and loki embarrass themselves in front of them and they think we're lame 

needforspeed: ur lame,,, can't speak for the rest of us 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: look loki and pete are coming over with the seniors!!

pissant: GOTTA BLAST 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: scott where are you going???

pissant: AWAY FROM THIS NIGHTMARE 

queenshuri: scott come back stop being stupid 

pissant: i. am. not. being. stupid 

queenshuri: you. are. being. stupid 

pissant: shut up shuri you insufferable know-it-all

queenshuri: shut up you melodramatic fan boy 

lokidyinginside: the seniors said it’s cool if we wanna hang out with them 

needforspeed: sure why not 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: should we make a chat for all of us??

peterparkerz: I’m on it Wanda!!

sabrinatheteenagewitch: thanks pete xx

\- 

**UNTITLED CHAT**  
**MEMBERS:**  
scott lang (pissant)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)  
wanda maximoff (sabrinatheteenagewitch)  
pietro maximoff (needforspeed)  
shuri (queenshuri)  
peter parker (peterparkerz)

wednesday 1:23pm

_peterparkerz added birdbrain, ASSet, nattynat and merida to the chat _

_ASSet named the chat AND YOU'RE WATCHING DISNEY CHANNEL_

birdbrain: bucky change the name it is ridiculous

ASSet: no.

birdbrain: yes. 

peterparkerz: i like it!!

ASSet: thank you 

ASSet: see wilson the people have spoken 

birdbrain: it was one person 

ASSet: don’t care 

ASSet: so what do you troublemakers wanna do next??

pissant: can we go on the vortex

birdbrain: hell yeah dude 

merida: and then can we go on the racer? I wanna race u bitches and win 

needforspeed: I’m gonna win 

merida: no change track boy

needforspeed: ur on barton

merida: we’ll let our racing do the talking 

needforspeed: see you at the finish line 

merida: u wish xxxx

sabrinatheteenagewitch: hey nat, shuri and i want to go on the hydrocoaster after the vortex. we need 3 people on it do you want to come??

nattynat: sure, anything to get me away from those idiots 

queenshuri: we feel you :///

lokidyinginside: excuse you im not an idiot 

nattynat: ur not but the rest of your friends are 

nattynat: except peter 

nattynat: he's cool 

peterparkerz: thanks nat :)

merida: cOME ON LETS GO WE'RE WASTING TIME 

needforspeed: race you to the vortex 

merida: i'm not stupid enough to race someone who is on the track team 

merida: or am i 

needforspeed: HEY COME BACK BARTON THATS CHEATING 

nattynat: maximoff ur going to overtake him anyway clint can't run for shit 

nattynat: except when fury and couslon are looking for him 

merida: its a wonderful skill I possess 

merida: oh shit boy maximoff is catching up to me 

queenshuri: maybe thats because u stopped running to text??

nattynat: clint can't multitask to save his life 

queenshuri: i can see that 

\- 

**TWO BROS CHILLIN IN THE HOT TUB **  
**MEMBERS: **  
tony stark (tonystank)  
bruce banner (drhulk) 

wednesday 2:25pm

tonystank: i hate stephen strange with every fibre in my body 

drhulk: wow you dont even hate bucky barnes this much 

tonystank: strange is an insufferable know-it-all who always has to upstage everyone around him 

drhulk: so you hate strange because he's exactly like you?

tonystank: not the point I was getting at bruce 

tonystank: and besides,, strange and i are very different 

tonystank: I am a loveable know-it-all who people like, like you, whereas nobody likes strange 

tonystank: hence why he hangs out with those annoying juniors 

drhulk: have u thought that maybe he likes sitting with the juniors and they like sitting with him? besides, someone has to put them in line 

drhulk: if it wasn't for strange they would be 100000% worse than barnes and his friends. just last week they wanted to pull the fire alarm and cause an evacuation but strange talked them out of it 

tonystank: how do you know all this???

drhulk: thor tells me 

tonystank: that doesnt change the fact that i dont like him 

drhulk: im not saying you have to like him, because he can be a jerk, but you out of all people should know that not everything is as it seems 

tonystank: now that ur done with ur preaching can I tell you what happened?

drhulk: yes tony 

tonystank: HE BEAT ME IN A PHYSICS POP QUIZ AND THEN RUBBED IT IN MY FACE 

drhulk: tony, thats really petty 

tonystank: i know can you believe that??

drhulk: i was talking about you

tonystank: can you show me even an ounce of sympathy?

drhulk: sorry here i go 

drhulk: oh my goodness tony what an absolute jerkface how dare he beat you in a physics pop quiz everybody knows you are the physics king of this school how dare he 

tonystank: wow i could feel the sarcasm all the way from AP Mathematics 

drhulk: thats some of my best work 

tonystank: i admit today i wasn't on my game but mrs. dean spring an random pop quiz on us

drhulk: look i don't agree with strange gloating about it but didn't you do the same thing last year when you topped the class in physics? 

tonystank: suddenly i have memory loss 

drhulk: tony 

tonystank: words? i don't know her 

-

**AND YOU'RE WATCHING DISNEY CHANNEL**  
**MEMBERS: **  
scott lang (pissant)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)  
wanda maximoff (sabrinatheteenagewitch)  
pietro maximoff (needforspeed)  
shuri (queenshuri)  
peter parker (peterparkerz)  
bucky barnes (ASSet)  
sam wilson (birdbrain)  
natasha romanoff (nattynat)  
clint barton (merida)

wednesday 3:04pm

needforspeed: i think we can all agree that the highlight of the day was when scott went speeding down the racer screaming at the top of his lungs 

birdbrain: and the ride operator was a cross between calling for help and laughing 

pissant: i dont understand why i went so fast down the slide :((( 

pissant: i was sliding down so fast all i could see was blurry shapes and colours 

queenshuri: scott's face before he reaches the end of the slide is my phone lockscreen

pissant: YOU TOOK PHOTOS OF ME WHILE I WAS ON THE RIDE???

queenshuri: obviously. opportunities like this don't come around often 

pissant: im gonna hack ur phone and delete those myself 

queenshuri: have fun with that

peterparkerz: hey guys i have some bad news 

ASSet: what is it my small bundle of joy 

merida: ^^^

peterparkerz: stephen just messaged me. the school knows we all skipped school today. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry (not sorry) about the cliffhanger! comment down below if there's any pairings and/or friendships or characters you want to see/see more of!


	6. party in the U.S.A

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which we see the aftermath of the juniors and seniors skipping school with a cameo from odin, avengers high has it's first home football game for the season and a random senior hosts the first house party of the year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry for abandoning this fic for 3 months I just wasn’t liking anything I had written. But to apologise, here’s an extra long chapter for keeping you all waiting. To be honest, i’m still iffy about this chapter, so comments are appreciated!

**AND YOU'RE WATCHING DISNEY CHANNEL  
****MEMBERS: **  
scott lang (pissant)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)  
wanda maximoff (sabrinatheteenagewitch)  
pietro maximoff (needforspeed)  
shuri (queenshuri)  
peter parker (peterparkerz)  
bucky barnes (ASSet)  
sam wilson (birdbrain)  
natasha romanoff (nattynat)  
clint barton (merida)

thursday 7:44am

birdbrain: fucking fuck if my mom finds out i skipped im dead 

peterparkerz: aunt may is going to be disappointed :(

lokidyinginside: relax odin has it sorted

ASSet: who the hell is odin and how is he going to help us???

sabrinatheteenagewitch: odin is loki's adopted father who has something on fury that will help us not get into too much trouble 

lokidyinginside: so u can all calm ur titties 

ASSet: you call your adopted father by his first name?

lokidyinginside: yes

ASSet: interesting 

birdbrain: so are u gonna tell us what ur father has on fury?

lokidyinginside: no 

birdbrain: right 

needforspeed: loki what time is ur father coming to school 

needforspeed: loki?

needforspeed: loki??

needforspeed: LOKI

lokidyinginside: shut up im messaging thor 

\- 

**KEEPING UP WITH THE ODINSONS  
****MEMBERS:  
**hela odinson (seeyouinhela)  
thor odinson (thunderstruck)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)  
bruce banner (drhulk)

thursday 7:47am

thunderstruck: loki what the hell did u and ur friends do yesterday for odin to be coming to the school 

lokidyinginside: nothing 

seeyouinhela: dont lie to us you trick ass bitch 

lokidyinginside: ugh fine,,

lokidyinginside: us and the cool seniors - barnes, romanoff, wilson, barton - skipped school and the school found out 

thunderstruck: you idiot

seeyouinhela: did u really think you wouldn't have gotten caught 

lokidyinginside: we knew we would be caught we just didn't care 

thunderstruck: that sounds right 

lokidyinginside: its alright odin is coming to tell fury off and since he and fury dont get on, he isn't angry with me 

lokidyinginside: its a win-win situation 

thunderstruck: u slimy snake 

lokidyinginside: that is me, yes 

lokidyinginside: gotta go odin is waiting out front to take me to school 

thunderstruck: have fun in that car ride of hell 

seeyouinhela: sucks to be you 

lokidyinginside: im just excited to see odin lose it at fury 

seeyouinhela: do something useful for once and film it 

lokidyinginside: on it bitch 

seeyouinhela: i finally like you 

\- 

thursday 8:05am

drhulk: this family is an absolute nightmare 

\- 

**AND YOU'RE WATCHING DISNEY CHANNEL**  
**MEMBERS: **  
scott lang (pissant)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)  
wanda maximoff (sabrinatheteenagewitch)  
pietro maximoff (needforspeed)  
shuri (queenshuri)  
peter parker (peterparkerz)  
bucky barnes (ASSet)  
sam wilson (birdbrain)  
natasha romanoff (nattynat)  
clint barton (merida)

thursday 8:38am

lokidyinginside: thanks to me we're all not getting suspended 

needforspeed: ***thanks to odin 

lokidyinginside: fuck off pietro who did you think called him 

needforspeed: if i recall correctly fury's scared of odin not you

queenshuri: two months of detention?? I’d rather take the suspension

sabrinatheteenagewitch: im just happy i didn't lose my role as head cheerleader 

needforspeed: or that i was banned from the track team 

ASSet: so can u tell us now what fury is afraid of??

lokidyinginside: ugh fine you nosey hoe 

lokidyinginside: fury used to work at odin's school and one of the students, carol and her gf val had a cat named goose who attacked fury and he lost his eye 

birdbrain: THATS WHY HE HAS AN EYE-PATCH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

merida: BEST THING IVE SEEN IN MY LIFE 

queenshuri: WTF 

lokidyinginside: dont say anything to anyone else bitches i'm not supposed to tell 

lokidyinginside: so if I stuff up at school I still get punished but it’s not really bad as the punishment fury wants to give me because we all know how strict he is

lokidyinginside: and besides ms carter loves me anyway so I won’t be expelled. but if i stuff up really bad like I try and burn down the school for example I will get expelled 

birdbrain: pls don’t burn down the school

birdbrain: I don’t want to be labelled as an accomplice 

lokidyinginside: calm ur tits 

nattynat: isn’t that unethical?   
  
lokidyinginside: yes but this is odin we are talking about 

lokidyinginside: and every time i step out of line fury wants me expelled because he and odin have bad blood and he can’t target thor since thor is the star of the football team and does nothing wrong 

pissant: this is fucking great 

pissant: who would have thought fury is scared over a cat 

peterparkerz: we should get to class now everyone, see you all in detention!!

merida: why is my bundle of joy so happy about detention???

peterparkerz: because i get to see all of you guys there!

ASSet: aww pete ur the best :))

peterparkerz: :))))) 

\- 

**THE BREAKFAST CLUB**  
**MEMBERS: **  
tony stark (tonystank)  
steve rogers (goldenboysteve)  
thor odinson (thunderstruck)  
bruce banner (drhulk)  
james rhodes (rhoderunner)

thursday 9:51am 

tonystank: thor why was ur dad at the school this morning??

thunderstruck: loki's friends and wilson's friends got caught skipping yesterday and odin came to the school to not suspend them 

tonystank: and did it work??

lokidyinginside: it did. loki wouldn't stop gloating about it 

tonystank: how did he do it??

thunderstruck: idk. loki didnt say and i didnt want to ask 

tonystank: ur family is w i l d 

thunderstruck: its more ridiculous than the kardashians 

drhulk: you hate the kardashians yet your family group chat is named after the kardashians 

thunderstruck: i obviously didn't create it 

thunderstruck: i wanted the odinson bunch but hela and loki said it was stupid 

tonystank: it is kinda stupid no offence thor 

thunderstruck: i have one less friend now 

goldenboysteve: thor just walked out of art class complaining about betrayal and snakes 

drhulk: that sounds like he's talking about loki 

thunderstruck: fuking loki made odin take him to giuseppe's gelato shop

thunderstruck: and has sent me 10 snaps in a row of his gelato 

thunderstruck: why does my father give loki everything he wants? hela and i never got this treatment and we are his biological children

thunderstruck: speaking of the devil 

thunderstruck: hela just messaged me saying she's fed loki's gucci slides to our neighbour's dog 

thunderstruck: i'll be lucky if the house is still standing when i get home from practice 

-

**AND YOU'RE WATCHING DISNEY CHANNEL**  
**MEMBERS: **  
scott lang (pissant)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)  
wanda maximoff (sabrinatheteenagewitch)  
pietro maximoff (needforspeed)  
shuri (queenshuri)  
peter parker (peterparkerz)  
bucky barnes (ASSet)  
sam wilson (birdbrain)  
natasha romanoff (nattynat)  
clint barton (merida)

thursday 2:32pm

merida: yo does anyone know who is taking detention this afternoon? if its fury i'm gonna dip 

needforspeed: its supposed to be coulson he was telling one of the freshmen on the track team 

merida: hell yeah i have mad respect for coulson 

needforspeed: why?

merida: do you know how much shit coulson's got me out of?? if it wasn't for him i would be expelled 

nattynat: its also the fact that fury has the hots for coulson so he'll do whatever coulson says 

pissant: WHAT????

pissant: no way i don't believe this 

nattynat: wanna make a bet ant-boy??

pissant: no thanks i value my life 

nattynat: im telling u they are together 

needforspeed: how do u know

nattynat: can't say 

needforspeed: and how do we know ur not making this up? 

ASSet: nat never lies 

merida: she tells you how it is 

merida: even when you don't want to hear it 

nattynat: clint are you still upset that i said you smell 

merida: no 

birdbrain: yes 

merida: sam you bitch 

birdbrain: i have respect for nat, i don't have respect for you clint 

merida: fair enough 

merida: gtg gang see you all in detention, i have a meeting with principal carter

needforspeed: you have a meeting with principal carter???

merida: i have meetings with her once a month to see that im staying on track and not getting into trouble. fury set it up 

birdbrain: as you can see its going VERY well 

merida: i don't mind them principal carter and i never talk about school and my behaviour anyway. she asks how im doing and always offers me reese pieces

merida: the day principal carter retires is going to be the worst day of my life 

needforspeed: why?

merida: who else am i going to get reese pieces off? 

needforspeed: you go to the shops and buy them like every other person????

merida: lame 

\- 

thursday 3:11pm 

ASSet: hi gang 

peterparkerz: hi bucky 

birdbrain: hi you ugly-looking bitch 

ASSet: hello to everyone except for sam 

ASSet: to sam: fuck you sam 

birdbrain: in your dreams 

ASSet: gross 

lokidyinginside: if you two could stop flirting in front of everyone that would be great 

lokidyinginside: romance makes me sick 

ASSet: we were not flirting 

birdbrain: barnes makes me sick 

lokidyinginside: whatever you say 

pissant: is detention over yet

queenshuri: scott its only been a minute 

pissant: fuck 

nattynat: who's chewing chips? 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: scott 

pissant: ITS NOT ME 

pissant: THAT WAS ONE TIME AND FURY BLASTED ME FOR TWENTY MINUTES 

peterparkerz: do you want some nat?

nattynat: yes peter, thank you 

merida: can i have some????

birdbrain: clint you just stole my oreos

merida: im still hungry, i have a large appetite 

merida: nat dont make it obvious ur giving me food 

nattynat: 

ASSet: uh oh nat's giving clint murder eyes 

pissant: SOMEONE’S AT THE DOOR. 

pissant: fuck I can’t see who it is from here 

queenshuri: pietro go look ur closest to the door 

needforspeed: i dont want to 

queenshuri: just fucking do it 

needforspeed: fine 

pissant: who is it?

needforspeed: its odin 

lokidyinginside: l8er h8ers

ASSet: im so confused

birdbrain: what did we do wrong now

pissant: hold on why is loki leaving?

lokidyinginside: im going with odin to a principal conference in fucking utah for the weekend 

pissant: you get to leave detention? that's not fair 

lokidyinginside: im spending all weekend is fucking utah with odin

lokidyinginside: i'd rather stick pins in my eyes 

birdbrain: at least ur not in detention 

lokidyinginside: I have to spend a whole weekend with odin 

lokidyinginside: I hate odin 

ASSet: why? isn’t he your father? adopted father? 

lokidyinginside: I don't want to talk about it 

birdbrain: is thor going too? 

lokidyinginside: no

lokidyinginside: only im going as odin and my mother do not trust me to be alone with my sister for more than 24 hours 

needforspeed: you live alone with your siblings how does that make sense??

lokidyinginside: thor is staying at bruce’s all weekend

lokidyinginside: and i’m also going because thor begged odin and my mother to take me with them 

lokidyinginside: such a little bitch

birdbrain: couldn’t thor take you down in a simple headlock? he’s built like a truck and you’re... not 

lokidyinginside: thor wouldn’t dare 

birdbrain: why not? 

lokidyinginside: because I would make thor’s life a living hell 

lokidyinginside: more than I do now 

birdbrain: I’m starting to think thor’s the adopted one in the family

\- 

thursday 3:56pm 

merida: do you ever feel like a plastic bag 

ASSet: drifting through the wind 

birdbrain: wanting to start again 

pissant: do you ever feel, feel so paper thin

needforspeed: like a house of cards 

peterparkerz: one blow from caving in

sabrinatheteenagewitch: do you ever feel already buried deep 

nattynat: six feet under scream

queenshuri: but no one seems to hear a thing

needforspeed: do you know that there's still a chance for you

peterparkerz: cause there's a spark in you

sabrinatheteenagewitch: you just gotta ignite the light

pissant: and let it shine 

birdbrain: just own the night 

ASSet: like the 4th of july

merida: CaUsE bAbY yOU’re A FIrEwORk

pissant: coME oN ShOw EM wHAt YOUr WoRth

birdbrain: MaKe EM Go Oh oH OH

ASSet: aS YoU sHOoT aCRosS tHe sKy-Y-Y

merida: BAby YoU’rE A fiReWORk

birdbrain: cOMe On LeT YoUr CoLOrS BuRsT

pissant: MaKe EM gO OH Oh oH

ASSet: YOU’re GOnNA lEavE eM faLLiN doWN DOwn

merida: avengers high talent quest here we come 

needforspeed: who's going to the football's team first home game on friday night??

birdbrain: me 

ASSet: since when??

birdbrain: thor convinced me to come

ASSet: ugh

ASSet: i'm not going 

ASSet: i'm staying far away from quill as possible 

pissant: oh yeah you got wrecked by quill a few weeks ago

ASSet: don't remind me 

needforspeed: well i'm going because of wanda, so if you change your mind, let me know 

ASSet: ^^ i'll keep that in mind

birdbrain: so i'm going by myself?? great 

ASSet: nobody said you had to go

birdbrain: but thor invited me I didn't want to be rude 

merida: i'll go with you sam 

birdbrain: THANK U CLINT

merida: want to have my heart broken once again anyway

nattynat: clint. 

merida: it doesn't matter. I can't avoid him forever. we go to the same school and are in the same year 

needforspeed: who are you talking about??

nattynat: shut up 

queenshuri: if you don't want us knowing why are you talking about it on this chat?

merida: tru 

merida: and its fine nat. i'm fine. end of conversation. 

pissant: I’m concerned about loki. he hasn’t replied to anything in this chat since he left detention 

lokidyinginside: what 

pissant: ur alive 

lokidyinginside: not for long 

pissant: what???

lokidyinginside: being trapped inside a car with odin is slowly killing me 

needforspeed: you haven’t been in the car for an hour yet 

lokidyinginside: exactly 

lokidyinginside: gtg odin's lecturing me on staying out of trouble

lokidyinginside: like he's a good role model on moral behaviour 

\- 

**OLD TOWN ROAD: **  
**MEMBERS: **  
bucky barnes (ASSet)  
sam wilson (birdbrain)  
natasha romanoff (nattynat)  
clint barton (merida)

friday 5:01pm

birdbrain: hey clint you don't have to come to the game if you don't want to 

birdbrain: im fine by myself

merida: no its ok

merida: i want to go

birdbrain: if you say so

ASSet: nat and i will meet you two at ollie turner's house after the game

merida: HELL YEAH FIRST SENIOR HOUSE PARTY OF THE YEAR

\- 

friday 5:50pm

merida: wow I forgot how good steve looked out on the field 

birdbrain: ew we don’t want steve rogers thirst on this chat 

birdbrain: some things should just stay unsaid 

birdbrain: or in this case, un-typed

ASSet: sorry to say clint, but you have bad taste 

merida: says you 

merida: you have the hots for the boy maximoff twin

ASSet: I DO NOT 

ASSet: I barely know the kid for christ sake

nattynat: kid? he’s only a year younger than you 

birdbrain: it’s senior syndrome 

birdbrain: making himself sound old and better than everyone else just because we’re seniors

ASSet: fuck off wilson

ASSet: ur lucky I’m not at the game with u 

birdbrain: what ur gonna shoot a nerf gun at my face again?

ASSet: try me 

birdbrain: go and talk to ur junior boyfriend 

ASSet: you know what? I will, asshole 

merida: oh 

nattynat: clint u idiot 

merida: WHAT DID I DO 

merida: HEY sam where are you goingggg. wait for meeeeee

birdbrain: to the restroom. 

ASSet: to go and have a cry? 

birdbrain: can’t be bothered fighting with you. 

ASSet: what? you have better things to do? 

birdbrain: no, just realised it’s a waste of my time. 

\- 

**THE BREAKFAST CLUB**  
**MEMBERS: **  
tony stark (tonystank)  
steve rogers (goldenboysteve)  
thor odinson (thunderstruck)  
bruce banner (drhulk)  
james rhodes (rhoderunner)

friday 9:12pm

tonystank: i lost bruce 

tonystank: i hav no idea where he is

goldenboysteve: tony are you drunk??

tonystank: NO

tonystank: wat make u say tht

goldenboysteve: your spelling is wrong 

tonystank: AM NOT DRUNK

tonystank: some1 tel me where bruce is 

thunderstruck: clingy's tony back

tonystank: am not cringy 

tonystank: **clinjy 

tonystank: **CLINGY 

drhulk: im with thor 

tonystank: yuck

thunderstruck: i'm right here 

tonystank: not u 

tonystank: u 2 in relationzhip

tonystank: **relationship

drhulk: tony's just sad and lonely because he has a big fat crush on strange 

tonystank: BRUCE

tonystank: FUK OFF

goldenboysteve: since when??

tonystank: none of ur buzness 

goldenboysteve: business?

tonystank: thats wat I said 

tonystank: im not sad and lonely 

tonystank: im smart 

thunderstruck: even when drunk you are arrogant 

tonystank: not arrogant

tonystank: confident 

tonystank: lik the demi lovato song 

tonystank: im gonna request that song

goldenboysteve: tony no

drhulk: no 

thunderstruck: no

tonystank: tony yes 

\- 

**OLD TOWN ROAD: **  
**MEMBERS: **  
bucky barnes (ASSet)  
sam wilson (birdbrain)  
natasha romanoff (nattynat)  
clint barton (merida)

friday 9:21pm

merida: HOLY SHIT HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN STARK?

merida: hes drunk as fuck

birdbrain: is that??

ASSet: steve rogers with him??

nattynat: dancing??

merida: gotta blast 

ASSet: hold up clint im coming with u 

merida: why so you can keep text the maximoff twin?

ASSet: fuck off clit

ASSet: **clint

birdbrain: didn’t think he was ur type, barnes

ASSet: what the hell would you know about my type?

birdbrain: relax man I was just making a comment 

birdbrain: why are you being so defensive?

ASSet: I’m not being defensive

nattynat: yes you are 

birdbrain: yes you are 

merida: yes you are 

ASSet: suck a dick all of you 

nattynat: unlike the other two musketeers I wouldn’t like it 

merida: wow 

birdbrain: I feel attacked 

nattynat: you’ll live 

birdbrain: nat do you see quill bragging about being the king of beer pong??

nattynat: anybody within a 10 mile radius can hear that dumbass

birdbrain: wanna knock him down a few pegs and retain our crown as beer pong champions? 

nattynat: as if im going to turn that down 

birdbrain: dream team babyyyy

nattynat: ur good for something, wilson

birdbrain: nat don’t make me cry 

ASSet: ur not even good at beer pong, wilson. ur a dead weight 

birdbrain: that’s rich coming from you. 

nattynat: come on, bucky, cut it out 

birdbrain: it’s fine everything that comes out of his mouth I don’t take it seriously. 

birdbrain: ur a joke, barnes. 

merida: come on guys, this is getting out of hand now 

birdbrain: it’s fine I’ve said my bit I’m done talking to him. 

ASSet: me too.   
  


\- 

**KEEPING UP WITH THE ODINSONS  
****MEMBERS:  
**hela odinson (seeyouinhela)  
thor odinson (thunderstruck)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)  
bruce banner (drhulk)

saturday 7:54am 

lokidyinginside: i’m in hell

lokidyinginside: 3479.png

thunderstruck: it’s just a photo of father 

lokidyinginside: exactly

lokidyinginside: hela I took a photo with ur people 

lokidyinginside: helaslonglostrelatives.png

seeyouinhela: when u get im gonna wring ur neck

lokidyinginside: im so scared of a goblin-looking ass-smelling bitch

thunderstruck: where is that 

drhulk: and is that principal carter’s niece in the photo with you? 

lokidyinginside: @ thor: goblin valley, bitch

lokidyinginside: @ bruce: yeah principal carter dragged sharon along just like odin dragged me along 

lokidyinginside: turns out we have a mutual hate at being dragged to the middle of fucking nowhere 

lokidyinginside: amongst other things too 

drhulk: sharon carter and loki laufeyson are a chaotic duo the world doesn’t need 

thunderstruck: I thought scott and loki were the chaotic duo 

drhulk: I was wrong 

lokidyinginside: wait until you see what we’re planning to do for halloween

thunderstruck: is that all ur doing while ur away? just causing everybody loki-sized migraines 

lokidyinginside: if it wasn’t for ur hitching I wouldn’t be here in the first place

lokidyinginside: “father, mother you HAVE to take loki with you. I can’t handle he and hela fighting, not with the first home game of the season this Friday.” 

seeyouinhela: if it was up to me I would leave you in utah and never come back 

lokidyinginside: shut up you goblin-looking hoe

seeyouinhela: day that again and I’ll take a knife to ur gucci shirts 

lokidyinginside: you bitch 

seeyouinhela: don’t I know it 

thunderstruck: so bruce what time am I coming to yours? 

drhulk: right now is good for me 

\- 

**NO ORDINARY GIRL**  
**MEMBERS: **  
clint barton (merida)  
sam wilson (birdbrain)

saturday 10:02am

merida: sammy are you okay? after last night? 

birdbrain: I’m fine

merida: you just seemed down after your fight with bucky last night 

birdbrain: I’m fine. just tired of always fighting with him 

birdbrain: and I know it puts you and nat in an awkward position 

birdbrain: but I just can’t help it. he’s a gigantic asshole 

merida: I don’t like bitching about you to the other so I’m going to have to stop you right there

merida: now about you two talk to sort things out? it will make your lives a whole lot easier 

merida: wow look at clint barton: walking disaster giving out advice 

birdbrain: I don’t think me and bucky have had one civil conversation 

merida: what about that day when you and bucky went skateboarding? 

merida: you two seemed to be fine there 

birdbrain: that was a glitch in the system 

merida: come on sam it’s our senior year 

merida: do you really want to look back on your last year of high school and remember always fighting with bucky? 

birdbrain: not really, no

merida: I think you know what you have to do

birdbrain: thanks, clint

merida: love you dude 

birdbrain: love you 2 bro

\- 

**THE BREAKFAST CLUB**  
**MEMBERS: **  
tony stark (tonystank)  
steve rogers (goldenboysteve)  
thor odinson (thunderstruck)  
bruce banner (drhulk)  
james rhodes (rhoderunner)

saturday 11:54am

tonystank: i feel like i’ve been hit by a truck

tonystank: oh god i just remembered i was dancing drunkenly to demi lovato and lady gaga and then shakira

tonystank: why didn’t anyone stop me 

goldenboysteve: we tried to 

tonystank: at least i looked good swaying my hips in hips don’t lie 

drhulk: just be glad you don’t remember what you were saying as you were dancing 

tonystank: ... oh god. I do remember 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not exactly happy with the fury and odin scene, but I tired to make fury as scared of goose as he was in captain marvel. I’m sorry if fury seems a little ooc, it was really hard trying to write his backstory in this universe with odin and loki. I’m not trying to make fury a bad person, rather that he is a stickler for rules and believes people who break the rules should be punished accordingly. And that does include the juniors (especially loki) who go out of their way to create as much trouble as possible. And although the teens didn’t get suspended, they are on detention for several months, so they didn’t get off lightly, and in fury’s eyes, being on detention when everybody else has gone home for the day is a more effective punishment than suspension and being away from school for several days


	7. lucky strike

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the juniors drag a reluctant stephen out bowling, loki and hela are unwanted additions to thor and bruce’s date and bucky and pietro hang out one-on-one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter picks up a week after the previous chapter!

**TOM AND JERRY** **  
** **MEMBERS:   
** bucky barnes (ASSet)   
sam wilson (birdbrain)

saturday 9:14am

birdbrain: hey barnes, i know things have been awkward at school lately

birdbrain: and i just wanted to say sorry

birdbrain: if you and pietro are a thing or are not a thing, thats ur business 

birdbrain: anyway i just wanted to say sorry and hope things are cool, man

ASSet: no, wilson, i need to apologise 

ASSet: i was an asshole to you last weekend and im sorry 

ASSet: and we're cool, if you want to be 

birdbrain: yeah we are 

\- 

**SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY  
** **MEMBERS:  
** scott lang (pissant)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)  
wanda maximoff (sabrinatheteenagewitch)  
pietro maximoff (needforspeed)  
shuri (queenshuri)  
peter parker (peterparkerz)  
stephen strange (strangerthings)

saturday 10:03am

pissant: im bored

lokidyinginside: cool story 

queenshuri: u can’t be as bored as nat and i last night at that concert with wanda

sabrinatheteenagewitch: hey :((

sabrinatheteenagewitch: it’s not my fault I have a niche music taste 

pissant: back to what i was saying

pissant: i was thinking of going out bowling tonight. who's in??

queenshuri: me 

lokidyinginside: yeah me too

peterparkerz: i can't go, sorry!! im taking aunt may out to dinner for her job promotion :))

sabrinatheteenagewitch: AWW!!! congratulate aunt may for me

peterparkerz: thanks wanda!!! 

pissants: congrats to aunt may :)))))

queenshuri: thats such good news, pete

peterparkerz: thank you!

pissant: are u and pietro in, wanda??

sabrinatheteenagewitch: i'm in. don't know about pietro, he's been glued to his phone the past week 

needforspeed: shut up wanda

needforspeed: i can't come, i have plans

pissant: what plans? 

needforspeed: plans that are none of ur business

pissant: wow i feel the defensiveness all the way from my house 

queenshuri: what about you stephen

queenshuri: and stop ghosting the chat 

strangerthings: im not ghosting the chat 

pissant: liar liar pants on fire

strangerthings: i can't come 

strangerthings: i have to study 

lokidyinginside: boring 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: thats not a valid excuse. ur coming out with us 

strangerthings: thats not an excuse its the TRUTH

strangerthings: how come peter's reason is valid and mine is not??

sabrinatheteenagewitch: because all you do is study

queenshuri: no excuses ur coming with us 

strangerthings: no 

pissant: yes 

strangerthings: fine 

strangerthings: only so i can get back to studying now 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: is this about ur rivalry with tony stark

strangerthings: why would you think that 

pissant: bc all u talk about is beating stark 

strangerthings: no i dont 

queenshuri: yes you do 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: yes you do 

lokidyinginside: yes you do 

pissant: yes you do 

peterparkerz: yes you do 

strangerthings: just gang up on me why don't you 

pissant: this is an intervention 

strangerthings: if you say so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

lokidyinginside: can we eat at that burger place next to lucky strike??

sabrinatheteenagewitch: yes!!! with the great curly fries 

strangerthings: birdie's burger place?

queenshuri: thats the one

pissant: what time should we meet??

sabrinatheteenagewitch: 6:30??

queenshuri: sounds good

strangerthings: who wants me to pick them up?

queenshuri: t'challa's taking me 

strangerthings: have you asked him?

queenshuri: no. i'll tell him when i'm ready to leave

pissant: you don't have to pick me up i'm riding my bike 

lokidyinginside: can you pick me up? thor doesnt want to drive me because i complain about his driving

strangerthings: what's wrong with his driving? 

lokidyinginside: he drives so damn slow 

strangerthings: why did i even ask 

lokidyinginside: i can run faster than he can drive 

queenshuri: loki u have never ran in ur life 

lokidyinginside: obviously bitch this body is not made for any physical activity 

strangerthings: what do you do to hide from the teachers when you cause a havoc?

lokidyinginside: i saunter 

lokidyinginside: and i look good doing it 

pissant: i can feel loki's smugness all the way across town 

pissant: anywayzzzz i have to leave now for my shift i'll see you all pranksters tonite 

pissant: except for stephen. he's not a prankster he's a nerd 

strangerthings: **im studious 

pissant: i just hear nerd 

pissant: jOKING stephen 

pissant: i think its cool ur dedicated to ur schoolwork. team stephen for valedictorian 

strangerthings: nice save, lang 

pissant: ;)

\- 

**UNTITLED CHAT**  
**MEMBERS: **  
pietro maximoff (needforspeed)  
bucky barnes (ASSet)

saturday 1:26pm

needforspeed: hey bucky, how are you?

ASSet: hey pietro, im good, how are you?

needforspeed: yeah im good, just doing homework 

ASSet: at least ur being responsible. i dont touch my homework until 11pm on sunday night 

needforspeed: i need to keep my grades up to be on the track team, so i cant afford to do that lol 

needforspeed: anyway, i wanted to ask you a question

needforspeed: you can say no if u want to, its cool. please don't feel pressured to say yes 

ASSet: pietro stop rambling and ask me the question 

needforspeed: i have the house to myself tonight and i was wondering if you wanted to come over so we could hang out??

needforspeed: if you dont want to or ur busy its fine

ASSet: i'd like that, pietro 

ASSet: do you want me to bring over anything??

needforspeed: i was thinking of ordering dominos pizza for us to eat, but if you want to bring over some snacks that would be great

ASSet: oooh can we get pepperoni pizza? i love pepperoni pizza

needforspeed: really? me too! 

ASSet: wow u really are my soulmate

ASSet: ...sorry that was weird 

ASSet: its just that we have stuff in common and i think its pretty neat 

ASSet: i didnt mean to weird u out, sorry :(

needforspeed: its now ur turn to stop rambling 

needforspeed: and its fineeeee

needforspeed: its nice to have so much in common with you 

needforspeed: even tho i love my sister and my friends we are all different people and we all have different interests 

ASSet: yeah i know what you mean. at least ur group gets on mostly. sam and i are fighting constantly 

ASSet: i'll say one thing and he says the other 

ASSet: like the other day i was talking about how much i love diet coke and sam said that he hates diet coke!1!1!1

ASSet: he was literally drinking a DIET COKE 

ASSet: but its not all that bad. sam and i had a fight last week and i said some shitty things to him but we talked about it and we're good. as much as i love arguing with him i dont like making him upset 

needforspeed: ....

ASSet: whats wrong?

needforspeed: nothing 

ASSet: i know its not nothing pietro 

needforspeed: .... did you and sam ever

needforspeed: date? 

ASSet: what would make u think that??

needforspeed: you said you two had a fight last week and last week was when we first started talking 

needforspeed: i just assumed it was because of me and that maybe you two used to be together

ASSet: sam and i have never dated

ASSet: are you jealous?

needforspeed: more insecure than jealous 

needforspeed: ur one of the coolest seniors in the school and im just a junior 

ASSet: just a junior? pietro ur the star of the track team

ASSet: everybody in the school loves you 

ASSet: for what its worth, i think ur pretty cool too

needforspeed: thanks, bucky :)

ASSet: ;)

\- 

**SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY  
** **MEMBERS:  
** scott lang (pissant)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)  
wanda maximoff (sabrinatheteenagewitch)  
pietro maximoff (needforspeed)  
shuri (queenshuri)  
peter parker (peterparkerz)  
stephen strange (strangerthings)

saturday 6:52pm

strangerthings: scott stop eating my fries 

pissant: why :(

strangerthings: because i want them

strangerthings: and they're mine 

pissant: possessive much

sabrinatheteenagewitch: scott do you want to share my curly fries with me?

pissant: yessss plsssss

pissant: only if you want 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: of course! i wouldnt have asked if i didn't want you to :)

pissant: see stephen this is a NICE person

strangerthings: nice isnt in my personality 

pissant: wow would have never guessed that 

strangerthings: wait until you have your ass handed to you in bowling, scott 

strangerthings: bowling is just simple physics 

pissants: stop sucking the fun out of bowling stephen 

strangerthings: >:(

queenshuri: we should have a forfeit for the loser

lokidyinginside: we all know thats going to be wanda 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: HEY

sabrinatheteenagewitch: just because its true doesnt mean you have to say it loki 

lokidyinginside: i was saying what we were all thinking 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: >:(

sabrinatheteenagewitch: pls dont make me do anything too embarrassing i want to be able to show my face again

lokidyinginside: there goes all my ideas 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: i only have one rule: loki cannot come up with the forfeit 

lokidyinginside: bitch 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: **a self-preserving bitch

peterparkerz: hi friendzzzz

peterparkerz: [happyauntmay.png]

sabrinatheteenagewitch: OHMYGOSH aunt may looks so happy!!

pissant: tell aunt may i love her 

peterparkerz: she says she loves you too scott and that you should come over more often 

pissant: thats it im coming over tomorrow 

peterparkerz: she says she cant wait 

pissant: you can help motivate me to do my homework 

peterparkerz: as long as im not doing it for you 

pissant: i would never do that to you 

pissant: ....wait a minute 

strangerthings: is flash thompson still making you do his homework

peterparkerz: ......no 

_peterparkerz has left the chat _

_strangerthings has added peterparkerz to the chat _

strangerthings: hey pete you can talk to us about this 

peterparkerz: i dont want to ruin your and aunt may's night 

peterparkerz: can we talk about it tomorrow? 

peterparkerz: i promise we will 

strangerthings: ok pete, whatever you want 

peterparkerz: thanks stephen :,)

\- 

saturday 8:09pm

queenshuri: idk about you, but my favourite part of the night was seeing scott get told off by the lucky strike workers for throwing his ball down the gutter for the fifth time that night 

pissant: I DIDNT EVEN DO IT ONCE IT WAS ALL YOU GUYS

pissant: and i still didnt come last 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: words hurt 

pissant: soz wanda 

pissant: back to me 

pissant: i cant believe you all let me get yelled at for something you all did 

lokidyinginside: why not? it was funny 

strangerthings: its your word against ours

pissant: you guys suck 

queenshuri: aww scotty we still love you 

pissant: not feeling the love 

pissant: maybe i need to find new friends 

lokidyinginside: wow you finally got the message 

pissant: guess you have to find somebody else to skip school assemblies with you 

lokidyinginside: wait 

lokidyinginside: ur tolerable 

lokidyinginside: i guess 

pissant: race you all to 7/11

lokidyinginside: i dont run 

pissant: i dont care 

queenshuri: now i can win since pietro isnt here 

queenshuri: waittt before we start running,,, dont you find it strange pietro hasnt been on here once??

lokidyinginside: wanda?

sabrinatheteenagewitch: i honestly dont know anything 

pissant: PIETROOOOO

pissant: WHERE ARE YOUUUUUUU

queenshuri: like that is going to work

needforspeed: yes?

pissant: HAH

pissant: suck it shuri 

lokidyinginside: where have you been bitch?

needforspeed: nowhere 

\- 

**TWEEDLEDEE + TWEEDLEDUM**  
**MEMBERS:**  
wanda maximoff (sabrinatheteenagewitch)  
pietro maximoff (needforspeed)

saturday 8:22pm

sabrinatheteenagewitch: you dont have to tell everybody else if you dont want to, but you can tell me 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: im ur sister 

needforspeed: i know. i want to tell you, but this is all new and i dont know where this is heading 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: are you with somebody?!?!

needforspeed: ...maybe

sabrinatheteenagewitch: pietro. 

needforspeed: ok ok

needforspeed: bucky barnes is over 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: OHMYGOSH really???

needforspeed: its not a big deal, alright? 

needforspeed: its still early, nothing serious. but i really like him 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: aww im happy for you :)

needforspeed: thanks wanda

sabrinatheteenagewitch: i'll let you get back to ur date 

needforspeed: its not a date 

\- 

****SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY  
****MEMBERS:  
****scott lang (pissant)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)  
wanda maximoff (sabrinatheteenagewitch)  
pietro maximoff (needforspeed)  
shuri (queenshuri)  
peter parker (peterparkerz)  
stephen strange (strangerthings)

saturday 8:28pm

pissant: wanda we know you know 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: i dont know what ur talking about 

pissant: liar liar pants on fire 

strangerthings: thats her and pietro's business. when he is ready he'll tell us 

pissant: hmmmmm

pissant: can we race to 7/11 now

strangerthings: yes 

pissant: LETS GO GANG 

\- 

**UNTITLED CHAT**  
**MEMBERS: **  
pietro maximoff (needforspeed)  
bucky barnes (ASSet)

saturday 9:37pm

ASSet: hey pietro, i wanted to thank you for a fun time tonight 

needforspeed: im glad you had fun. i did too

ASSet: we should hang out more often 

needforspeed: i'd like that :)

ASSet: great :)

ASSet: see you at school on monday?

needforspeed: see you at school :))

ASSet: :)))

\- 

**KEEPING UP WITH THE ODINSONS  
****MEMBERS:  
**hela odinson (seeyouinhela)  
thor odinson (thunderstruck)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)  
bruce banner (drhulk)

sunday 12:12pm

lokidyinginside: im so bored

lokidyinginside: this weekend is so boring 

thunderstruck: you went bowling with ur friends last night 

lokidyinginside: oh yeah

lokidyinginside: i forgot 

drhulk: how did you forget? it happened less than 24 hours ago

lokidyinginside: ur still on probation dont test me 

drhulk: probation??? 

thunderstruck: loki you dont get to decide whether bruce and i keep dating 

lokidyinginside: i should tho 

thunderstruck: u shouldnt 

lokidyinginside: i should

thunderstruck: go mess up ur own life 

lokidyinginside: whatever bitch 

\- 

**THOR ODINSON IS A PUSSY**  
**MEMBERS: **  
hela odinson (seeyouinhela)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)

saturday 12:14pm

lokidyinginside: want to join me in ruining thor's date?

seeyouinhela: obviously 

lokidyinginside: temporary alliance?

seeyouinhela: would expect nothing less 

seeyouinhela: heading to fenris now 

lokidyinginside: who the hell names their car 

seeyouinhela: salt isn't a good look on you 

lokidyinginside: bitch 

\- 

**KEEPING UP WITH THE ODINSONS  
****MEMBERS:  
**hela odinson (seeyouinhela)  
thor odinson (thunderstruck)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)  
bruce banner (drhulk)

saturday 1:01pm

thunderstruck: why are you assholes here?

seeyouinhela: this is a public place, asshole

thunderstruck: why are you sitting with bruce and i on our date?

lokidyinginside: normal families hang out together, big brother 

thunderstruck: we aren't a normal family

seeyouinhela: thank god we arent

seeyouinhela: normal families are boring 

drhulk: i dont mean to sound rude

drhulk: but can you two leave?

lokidyinginside: no 

thunderstruck: why not 

lokidyinginside: because i like annoying you, big brother 

thunderstruck: fuck off loki

thunderstruck: when you are on a date im gonna do the same thing to you

lokidyinginside: try all you want, big brother 

thunderstruck: stop calling me big brother

lokidyinginside: what would you like me to call you? asshole? bitch? dumbass?

thunderstruck: i'd like you to leave

lokdyinginside: we are in a gelato place you cant kick us out 

thunderstruck: watch me 

lokidyinginside: im so scared 

thunderstruck: please leave 

thunderstruck: i want to spend some time with my boyfriend ALONE

seeyouinhela: alright alright we get it 

seeyouinhela: it was fun annoying you 

seeyouinhela: see you at home wimp 

thunderstruck: im a wimp?

lokidyinginside: can you not read?

thunderstruck: i hate this family 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been toying with the idea of a boarding school au with the marvel characters and I would like to you if any of you would be interested in seeing it! If I were to write it, it would be published after this fic ends. please let me know what you think!


	8. TEA TIME™️

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the backstory between tony and steve gets revealed, bucky and pietro begin to spend even more time together and the juniors (and stephen) have a funeral for ant-thony.

**UNTITLED CHAT  
MEMBERS:  
**peter parker (peterparkerz)  
stephen strange (strangerthings)

monday 4:16pm

peterparkerz: stephen what did you do to flash

peterparkerz: he just apologised for bullying me and for making me do his homework 

strangerthings: nothing. I just talked to him

peterparkerz: really? 

strangerthings: yes

peterparkerz: what did you say? 

strangerthings: that’s between flash and I 

strangerthings: don’t worry I didn’t threaten him. I’m not a bully

peterparkerz: well thanks for speaking to him :)

strangerthings: you’re welcome. I’m here for you, we’ll all here for you when you need it

peterparkerz: thanks :))

\- 

**THE BREAKFAST CLUB**  
**MEMBERS: **  
tony stark (tonystank)  
steve rogers (goldenboysteve)  
thor odinson (thunderstruck)  
bruce banner (drhulk)  
james rhodes (rhoderunner)

tuesday 1:38am

tonystark: isn’t it crazy how saying sentences backwards creates backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?

drhulk: tony its 1:30 in the morning 

thunderstruck: WOW I never knew that 

tonystank: the word swims is the same upside down 

drhulk: no its not 

tonystank: yes it is 

goldenboysteve: its too late for this 

tonystank: sorry, grandpa 

tonystank: just try it 

thunderstruck: IT IS

thunderstruck: 1597.png

drhulk: how is that possible 

tonystank: try it 

goldenboysteve: holy shit it is 

goldenboysteve: look

goldenboysteve: 1209.png

drhulk: ...ok ur right tony 

tonystank: i know 

drhulk: this is fun n all but i want to go to sleep

drhulk: so 

drhulk: bye 

tonystank: ur weak bruce. u used to be able to pull all-nighters

tonystank: the old bruce was stronger than this

goldenboysteve: is that a snapchat of bruce wearing sunglasses with the caption 'blocking out the haters'??

tonystank: who 

tonystank: knew 

tonystank: that 

tonystank: bruce

tonystank: had

tonystank: it 

tonystank: in 

tonystank: him 

tonystank: to 

tonystank: be 

tonystank: funny 

thunderstruck: i did 

tonystank: thor u don't count ur bruce's bf 

thunderstruck: AND??

tonystank: ur opinion is biased 

thunderstruck: sorry for being a supportive boyfriend 

tonystank: ew romance 

drhulk: tony you watch rom-coms on valentine's day

tonystank: i think you got the wrong number who's tony

tonystank: i go by anthony now 

\- 

**OLD TOWN ROAD: **  
**MEMBERS: **  
bucky barnes (ASSet)  
sam wilson (birdbrain)  
natasha romanoff (nattynat)  
clint barton (merida)

tuesday 12:04pm

merida: yo bucky where are you?? it's been 15 minutes since lunch started man

ASSet: im not coming to lunch

ASSet: i have something to do sorry

nattynat: what is it? 

ASSet: i cant say 

ASSet: i'll promise i'll explain it to you guys but not rn 

nattynat: ur not doing anything ur not supposed to right?

ASSet: i promise 

\- 

**UNTITLED CHAT**  
**MEMBERS: **  
pietro maximoff (needforspeed)  
bucky barnes (ASSet)

tuesday 12:07pm

ASSet: i want to change our chat name

needforspeed: pls do having it untitled is lame 

ASSet: look us only officially dating for a few days and we're on the same page

needforspeed: ;)

needforspeed: ok but pls come up with something good because having an untitled chat is reallyyyyy lame 

ASSet: pushy

_ASSet named the chat MS KEISHA _

needforspeed: ms keisha, ms keisha, ms keisha

ASSet: oh my fucking god she fucking dead 

needforspeed: iconic™️

ASSet: don't we have great taste in vines

needforspeed: of course we do

needforspeed: did you bring the uno cards??

ASSet: yes

ASSet: don't laugh but they're scooby doo themed 

needforspeed: REALLY

needforspeed: how cool

ASSet: you don't think its tacky and childish? 

needforspeed: NO 

needforspeed: scooby doo was my childhood 

ASSet: i really wasn't into scooby doo. these are my sister's

needforspeed: you have a sister? 

ASSet: yeah a younger sister. her's names bec and she's 15 and the most annoying person I have ever met in my life

ASSet: i love her tho. i'll never admit that to her but 

needforspeed: same for me and wanda 

ASSet: you two seem close 

needforspeed: we have been ever since we were born

needforspeed: ik its going to sound lame, but she's my best friend

ASSet: i think that's sweet :)

ASSet: sometimes i wish i had a twin

ASSet: like an identical twin and we would switch and i would see who out of my friends would recognise that it wasn't me 

ASSet: and weed out the fake friends 

ASSet: like wilson, that fake hoe 

needforspeed: whats the deal with you and wilson anyway? 

ASSet: i already said told you that sam and i haven't dated

needforspeed: not that

needforspeed: why do you two hate each other so much? you hang out in the same group

ASSet: i dont hate him

ASSet: its like a tom and jerry kinda thing 

ASSet: sam had moved to the school during the year i left the school after my accident. and when i came back, he was in the group and friends with clint and nat. and tbh,,, i felt threatened that i left and sam was there. it wasn't like nat and clint replaced me with sam, as they kept in touch with me,,, but it felt like they did??

ASSet: i was still insecure after everything that happened with my arm and i took it out on sam. i'm not proud of it, but after my accident, i just wanted everything to go back to how it was. and seeing sam in the group was another thing like changed

ASSet: nat and clint spoke to me and said that sam felt like he wasnt wanted in the group. i felt bad when i realised how my actions were affecting other people and stopped giving him a hard time. we talked about it and we're cool. honestly sam's a good guy. i don't think i have it in me to forgive a guy who was giving me a hard time for no good reason

needforspeed: thanks for telling me, sorry if it was too personal considering we've only been dating for a few days 

ASSet: dont worry, its not like sam and i hide our rivalry 

ASSet: if you even call it a rivalry idk the proper word for our relationship

ASSet: our mutual love/hate relationship??? idk its like a seesaw 

needforspeed: such a way with words 

ASSet: bucky barnes: poet™️

needforspeed: ur no william wordsworth but you'll do 

needforspeed: wanna deal the cards? 

ASSet: yes plsssss 

\- 

**OLD TOWN ROAD: **  
**MEMBERS: **  
bucky barnes (ASSet)  
sam wilson (birdbrain)  
natasha romanoff (nattynat)  
clint barton (merida)

tuesday 7:02pm

merida: meet my new best friend 

merida: 2063.png

birdbrain: is that a dog??

merida: yes he's name is lucky and i would do anything for him 

birdbrain: he's adorable

merida: ik just like his owner

nattynat: an inflated ego is not a good look on you clint 

merida: mean :( 

nattynat: the dog is adorable tho 

merida: has ur crush on sharon carter softened you up nat?

nattynat: no comment 

birdbrain: looks like there's going to be a civil war tomorrow 

merida: if nat can pick on me i can pick on her 

birdbrain: what are you all doing? 

merida: playing with lucky 

nattynat: finishing my trig hw

nattynat: what are you doing?

birdbrain: ...watching hannah montana 

merida: YOU GET THE LIMO OUT FRONT 

birdbrain: HOTTEST STYLES, EVERY SHOE, EVERY COLOUR

birdbrain: c'mon nat join in 

merida: pls 

nattynat: only bc i liked hannah montana when i was younger 

birdbrain: imagine not liking hannah montana

merida: could not be me

nattynat: look at us having immaculate taste

merida: because we're fierce & flawless 

birdbrain: why does that sound like a fragrance by victoria's secret 

merida: trademark that shit now before they steal it 

merida: victora's secret always finds out 

birdbrain: full offence clint but i dont think ur special enough to be on victoria's secret's radar

merida: oooft hit me where it hurts

birdbrain: just giving u a reality check 

merida: gtg, taking lucky for a walk, talk later friendssssss

birdbrain: send some photos

merida: of me?

nattynat: of lucky not u 

nattynat: my camera roll is full of you stealing my phone and taking photos of yourself 

merida: a reminder that im in ur life forever now and you cant get rid of me 

birdbrain: clint that just sounds creepy 

merida: ur just jealous because im more important to nat than you

birdbrain: oh gosh you got me!1!1!

birdbrain: clint can i come with you to walk lucky?

merida: what happened to watching hannah montana?

birdbrain: i looked at that picture you sent of lucky again and i want to meet him

merida: ok i'll come to ur house 

birdbrain: mom says you can stay for dinner if you want

merida: nat do you want to come

nattynat: i wish, but i still have trig hw to do 

merida: look at you being all responsible 

merida: can't relate 

\- 

tuesday 7:23pm

merida: guys wait i just realised we never finished our hannah montana singalong 

\- 

**SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY  
****MEMBERS:  
**scott lang (pissant)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)  
wanda maximoff (sabrinatheteenagewitch)  
pietro maximoff (needforspeed)  
shuri (queenshuri)  
peter parker (peterparkerz)  
stephen strange (strangerthings)

tuesday 8:01pm

pissant: someone call 911 i've witnessed a murder

strangerthings: what's happened now scott

pissant: ant-thony iii has just died :(

lokidyinginside: did ur dad step on ur ant again?

sabrinatheteenagewitch: scott isn't this the third time this has happened?

pissant: yeah i'm starting to think my dad's lying when he says its an accident :(

peterparkerz: at school tomorrow we can have a funeral 

queenshuri: right next to the tennis courts @ lunch 

pissant: ant-thony iii and i will appreciate it 

pissant: also can we face-time hope i want her to be there 

strangerthings: i can't believe i'm friends with you all

queenshuri: you do realise you can just not hangout with us, right?

strangerthings: yeah, but i'm not going to 

lokidyinginside: i would bring matches to light a candle for ant-thony but the school already thinks i'm about to commit arson and i promised my mother that i wouldn't get into trouble again for another few weeks 

needforspeed: ur family is so weird

lokidyinginside: ik thor's in it 

needforspeed: ...thor's the only normal one in ur family 

lokidyinginside: i'm going to pretend u didn't say that 

pissant: can we get back to what's important?

pissant: which is ant-thony's funeral 

pissant: now,,, ant-thony liked rock music so i'm thinking to have highway to hell playing 

strangerthings: you do realise playing music will get you into trouble?

pissant: that's the risk i am willing to take for ant-thony

\- 

**THE BREAKFAST CLUB**  
**MEMBERS: **  
tony stark (tonystank)  
steve rogers (goldenboysteve)  
thor odinson (thunderstruck)  
bruce banner (drhulk)  
james rhodes (rhoderunner)

wednesday 12:12pm

thunderstruck: before you all ask, yes my brother's friends are having a funeral for an ant 

tonystank: is strange there?

thunderstruck: yes, why do you want to know?

tonystank: just curious

drhulk: why can I see them becoming like barnes' group after we graduate

thunderstruck: they've already started

thunderstruck: they're all in detention together for skipping school to go to a waterpark 

tonystank: can someone film the funeral i wanna see

tonystank: can't believe i'm sick and missing out on this 

thunderstruck: bruce you go do it

drhulk: why me? ur brother's in that group 

thunderstruck: which is why i dont want to do it

tonystank: bruce just do it i want to see it 

drhulk: fine 

drhulk: 9601.mov

tonystank: is that highway to hell playing? who would've thought the juniors have good taste in music 

tonystank: why is the hole they're digging for the ant so big? 

tonystank: this is great i can't believe i missed out on this 

goldenboysteve: what is the funeral for?

thunderstruck: scott lang's pet ant ant-thony iii

rhoderunner: he named his ant ant-thony?

drhulk: that's his third ant? 

thunderstruck: loki told me that lang's father has a habit of accidentally stepping on lang's ants 

rhoderunner: tony how are you doing?

tonystank: alright rhodey-bear 

tonystank: just at home watching that's so raven and eating soup 

tonystank: what's happening now with the juniors?

drhulk: mrs warren has come up to them and yelled at them for digging a hole on the oval and scott's told mrs warren it's for a good cause

drhulk: now mrs warren is yelling at scott as having a funeral for an ant is not a good cause for digging a hole on the oval 

tonystank: ADFHJTKS lang is so dumb but man he can be funny at times 

tonystank: are they all getting into trouble? 

drhulk: you want to know if strange is getting into trouble 

tonystank: ... that's not what i said

tonystank: just answer the question 

drhulk: no mrs warren just told them to re-fill the hole and if she catches them digging up more holes on the oval they'll end up picking up rubbish at lunch tomorrow 

\- 

**SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY  
****MEMBERS:  
**scott lang (pissant)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)  
wanda maximoff (sabrinatheteenagewitch)  
pietro maximoff (needforspeed)  
shuri (queenshuri)  
peter parker (peterparkerz)  
stephen strange (strangerthings)

wednesday 12:21pm

pissant: i'd call that a success

peterparkerz: until mrs warren came ://

queenshuri: talk about ruining the mood 

strangerthings: you dug a big hole in the oval did you really think a teacher wouldn't notice? 

pissant: we didn't end up on detention or in a teacher's office and ant-thony iii got the proper funeral he deserved so it all worked out 

needforspeed: stephen i saw u shed a tear 

strangerthings: i did not shed a tear, scott got dirt in my eye from his digging 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: should we now eat in honour ant-thony?

pissant: i'm hungry after all that physical exertion 

strangerthings: i⏤

\- 

**UNTITLED CHAT**  
steve rogers (goldenboysteve)  
tony stark (tonystank)

wednesday 2:56pm

goldenboysteve: hey tony

tonystank: hi

goldenboysteve: im just checking in to see how you're doing 

tonystank: i'm alright

goldenboysteve: tony, i hate how things are between us. you are one of my closest friends 

tonystank: you should've thought about that before you broke my trust and told my parents about ty 

goldenboysteve: i know that. if i could take back what happened that day i would. i regret it everyday

goldenboysteve: but i was so worried about you. after you had started dating ty, you became a different person. you were so withdrawn and then i saw the bruises and i was worried for you

goldenboysteve: this isn't an an excuse and i know what i did was inexcusable and if you don't want to forgive me i understand. i just want you to know i know i went about things the wrong way but i was truly concerned and worried about you

tonystank: i know you had good intentions but you broke my trust and it will take time for me to trust you again

goldenboysteve: i understand. again, im sorry for everything that happened 

tonystank: thanks steve, i appreciate it 

tonystank: but if im really being honest, if you didn't tell my parents about ty, i probably would have never been able to leave ty 

goldenboysteve: did they already know that you like guys?

tonystank: yeah, they do. i came out to them about a year before. they don’t care about me dating a guy, but i knew howard would freak if he found out i was with ty because howard and ty’s father used to be business competitors before howard made ty’s father’s company bankrupt. so that’s why i didn’t want them knowing 

goldenboysteve: i had no idea

tonystank: you weren’t to know

tonystank: mom’s telling me i have to rest, but i appreciate you apologising 

goldenboysteve: hope you feel better soon. if you need anything im here 

tonystank: thanks, steve 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not ashamed to admit that I tested to see if swims upside down is the same (it blew my mind too)


	9. oliver wood? he's a keeper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which scott, loki and pietro binge watch all the harry potter movies, pietro and bucky go public at pietro's track meet and tony sees stephen in a different light.

**TWO BROS CHILLIN IN THE HOT TUB ****MEMBERS:   
**tony stark (tonystank)  
bruce banner (drhulk) 

wednesday 8:46pm

tonystank: hey 

tonystank: so steve messaged me after school today and we talked about everything

drhulk: how did it go?

tonystank: surprisingly good. he apologised and it seemed genuine and i told him that it will take a while for him to get my trust back and he accepted it

drhulk: im happy for you tony

drhulk: i know you two were close

tonystank: i dont think we will ever be as close as we were before, but i think things will get better

drhulk: im happy for both of you 

tonystank: maybe we can all hang out some time

tonystank: its been a while since we did that 

drhulk: thats a great idea 

drhulk: we can go to thor and i's favourite gelato shop

tonystank: the gelato there is nice

tonystank: great now i want gelato dammit 

\- 

**GOLDEN TRIO**  
**MEMBERS: **  
pietro maximoff (needforspeed)  
scott lang (pissant)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)

friday 11:18pm

needforspeed: guysss im making more popcorn

lokidyinginside: shut up we are getting to the good part 

pissant: loki we are only ten minutes into the prisoner of azkaban 

lokidyinginside: shut up im trying to watch a movie

pissant: so am i 

lokidyinginside: stop texting this chat and watch the movie 

pissant: u can't be rude to me i am hosting you 

lokidyinginside: u cant be annoying me i am the guest 

needforspeed: im back

pissant: POPCORN POPCORN POPCORN POPCORN

pissant: pietro, you have been on ur phone all night texting

pissant: who is it 

lokidyinginside: you've been glued to phone all the time lately 

needforspeed: its no one 

lokidyinginside: bullshit 

pissant: how dumb do u think i am 

pissant: loki dont answer that 

lokidyinginside: fine 

needforspeed: fine 

needforspeed: yes i am speaking to someone

needforspeed: who is pretty awesome 

needforspeed: but we haven't told anyone about us so i dont wanna say anything until i know they're cool about it 

lokidyinginside: im guessing its bucky barnes 

lokidyinginside: i saw the way u were drooling looking at him in detention 

needforspeed: loki u were in detention for 5 seconds 

lokidyinginside: and yet im right 

needforspeed: NO COMMENT 

pissant: holy shit what 

needforspeed: lets just watch the movie 

pissant: no lets talk about this 

needforspeed: theres nothing to talk about 

pissant: holy shit loki how did u figure it out?

lokidyinginside: i know everything 

pissant: not weird at all 

lokidyinginside: its called observing, scott 

pissant: sorry i dont see much because i'm always thinking about hope because she's my world

pissant: wow that was smooth i gotta send that to her 

lokidyinginside: how she is still with you i dont understand 

pissant: im irresistible 

pissant: its part of the scott lang charm 

\- 

saturday 12:58am

pissant: can i just say that oliver wood is hot

pissant: if i was into guys oliver wood could have his way with me 

pissant: and no i will not be taking criticism 

needforspeed: ur not wrong

needforspeed: oliver wood could do whatever he wanted with me 

pissant: guess you could say that oliver wood's a keeper 

pissant: get it? 

lokidyinginside: that's not remotely funny 

pissant: ur sense of humour sucks, loki 

\- 

**MS KEISHA **  
**MEMBERS: **  
pietro maximoff (needforspeed)  
bucky barnes (ASSet)

saturday 9:12pm

ASSet: heeeeyyyyy lightning mcqueen

needforspeed: heeeyyyyy

ASSet: whatchaaaaaa doingggggg

needforspeed: i just got back from scott's place

ASSet: how was ur harry potter movie marathon with scott and loki?

needforspeed: about that

needforspeed: i need to tell you something

ASSet: what is it? 

needforspeed: loki figured out that we're talking. i didn't say anything, but he worked it out

needforspeed: and knowing loki and scott, the rest of my friends would know now 

ASSet: that's it? 

needforspeed: ur not annoyed?

ASSet: no 

ASSet: i was thinking about coming to ur track meet as ur boyfriend if u wanted me there

needforspeed: of course i would want u there

needforspeed: ur my boyfriend 

needforspeed: wanda will be there and i think peter is coming also so you wont be alone 

ASSet: cool! i'll message my friends and see if any of them wanna come

\- 

**OLD TOWN ROAD: **  
**MEMBERS: **  
bucky barnes (ASSet)  
sam wilson (birdbrain)  
natasha romanoff (nattynat)  
clint barton (merida)

saturday 9:19pm

ASSet: hey assholes 

birdbrain: yes, barnes?

ASSet: i have some news 

nattynat: which is?

ASSet: i'm dating pietro 

merida: as in pietro maximoff?

ASSet: what other pietro do you know, clint?

merida: tru 

merida: wow im surprised

merida: i didnt think he was ur type

ASSet: why is everybody saying that?

nattynat: good for you, bucky 

ASSet: thanks nat <3

merida: oh yeah good for you, bucky! im happy for you :)

ASSet: thanks clint :)))

ASSet: pietro has a track meet tomorrow and i'm going to go watch him. do you guys want to come with me? 

\- 

**SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY  
****MEMBERS:  
**scott lang (pissant)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)  
wanda maximoff (sabrinatheteenagewitch)  
pietro maximoff (needforspeed)  
shuri (queenshuri)  
peter parker (peterparkerz)  
stephen strange (strangerthings)

saturday 9:20pm

needforspeed: i'm sure you all know by now, but bucky and i are together

queenshuri: wait what? really? 

needforspeed: scott and loki didn't say anything?

strangerthings: no 

pissant: RUDE 

pissant: we can keep a secret you know 

lokidyinginside: just so everyone knows, pietro didn't tell us, i worked it out 

peterparkerz: it does make sense. pietro has been glued to his phone lately 

needforspeed: well now you all know

needforspeed: bucky's coming to my track meet tomorrow and says he's going to ask his friends if they want to come also

sabrinatheteenagewitch: they can sit with us if they want 

needforspeed: is it just wanda and peter coming tomorrow? 

pissant: i cant come i have a shift at baskin robbin's tomorrow 

queenshuri: and i have a family lunch 

lokidyinginside: and i dont want to be at school when i dont have to 

needforspeed: loki its probably best if you dont come u might try and set the school on fire 

strangerthings: i have homework to do

queenshuri: stephen ur so boring 

strangerthings: i'm a senior. what do you expect?

pissant: bucky and his friends are seniors and they manage to have a life 

strangerthings: i have a life. i went bowling with you guys last weekend 

peterparkerz: only because we forced you 

strangerthings: still 

needforspeed: i'll let bucky know it's just wanda and peter that are coming 

\- 

**OLD TOWN ROAD: **  
**MEMBERS: **  
bucky barnes (ASSet)  
sam wilson (birdbrain)  
natasha romanoff (nattynat)  
clint barton (merida)

saturday 9:26pm 

nattynat: i'll come 

merida: yeah me too

ASSet: sam stop ghosting the chat. we can see that ur seeing the messages and not responding 

ASSet: are you coming?

birdbrain: i can't. i'm busy 

birdbrain: i have to go. talk to you all later 

merida: what was that about? 

\- 

**MS KEISHA **  
**MEMBERS: **  
pietro maximoff (needforspeed)  
bucky barnes (ASSet)

saturday 9:30pm

ASSet: so i spoke to my friends and nat and clint are coming 

needforspeed: wanda and peter are coming from my group 

needforspeed: i cant wait to see you 

ASSet: me too :)

ASSet: and afterwards i can take you on a proper date 

ASSet: how about we get domino's pizza and eat at the skate park? 

needforspeed: you got yourself a date 

\- 

**RAINBOW ROAD, BITCH**  
**MEMBERS: **  
natasha romanoff (nattynat)  
clint barton (merida)

saturday 9:46pm

merida: was it just me or was sam acting weird on the gc?

nattynat: no, i saw it too

merida: i dont want to be talking behind his back, but im worried

nattynat: me neither

merida: sam just messaged me. he says he cant come for our walk tonight because he's swamped with homework 

merida: do you think this has something to do with bucky?

nattynat: he did stop responding when bucky said he was dating pietro

merida: you don't think ⏤

nattynat: idk 

nattynat: if it is true, we should wait a few days before we check in on him

merida: or until he says something to us

nattynat: sam wont say anything to us because bucky is our friend 

nattynat: i dont want to pressure him into saying anything. we'll wait for a few days before we say anything

nattynat: who knows, we could be wrong 

merida: i have a gut feeling we're right about this

merida: but i agree with you

merida: if it is true, i know exactly how he feels

\- 

**OLD TOWN ROAD: **  
**MEMBERS: **  
bucky barnes (ASSet)  
sam wilson (birdbrain)  
natasha romanoff (nattynat)  
clint barton (merida)

sunday 12:18pm

merida: the school feels so difficult on the weekend 

nattynat: this is the first time i've been at school /voluntarily/

merida: same 

ASSet: me too

ASSet: it's weird

ASSet: but i'm happy to support pietro

merida: aww look at you being a dedicated boyfriend 

nattynat: are you and pietro doing anything after the meet?

ASSet: we're going on our proper first date

merida: where are you guys going?

ASSet: clint you are not going to stalk us 

merida: that was one time 

merida: and who saved you from the date from hell last year? that's right /ME/

ASSet: yes thats true

nattynat: what possessed you to go on a date with rumlow from hydra high?

ASSet: idk

ASSet: he asked me and i figured why not

merida: he's so gross 

ASSet: his breath smelt like garlic 

ASSet: and we hadn't even eaten yet 

nattynat: is that sharon carter warming up by the pole vaults??

nattynat: or am i seeing things

merida: that is sharon carter

ASSet: nat, go and shoot ur shot 

nattynat: and i thought today was going to be lame

ASSet: im going to pretend i didnt see that 

\- 

**MS KEISHA **  
**MEMBERS: **  
pietro maximoff (needforspeed)  
bucky barnes (ASSet)

sunday 4:42pm

needforspeed: thanks for coming, bucky :)

ASSet: of course!! I had fun 

ASSet: ur sister and and ur friend peter are pretty cool 

needforspeed: ur friends are cool too

needforspeed: its crazy that we're together,, bc for the longest time i thought you and ur friends were so cool and i didn't think you would notice me 

ASSet: pietro, i'm not that special

needforspeed: to me you are. this is so embarrassing, but i've had a crush on you for the longest time, before you had ur accident and went away for a year 

ASSet: really now? ;) ;)

needforspeed: ur never going to let me forget this, are you? 

ASSet: never :P

\- 

****NO ORDINARY GIRL:  
******MEMBERS: **  
sam wilson (birdbrain)  
clint barton (merida)

sunday 5:01pm

birdbrain: how was the track meet?

merida: it was alright

merida: sharon carter's on the team and nat was very excited

birdbrain: sorry i missed it 

merida: are you really? 

_merida deleted 1 chat _

merida: we missed having you there 

birdbrain: what did you delete?

merida: autocorrect did it's thing again

merida: being a pain in my ass like always 

birdbrain: oh, ok 

merida: are you okay? you just seem distant 

birdbrain: yeah, i'm ok. just swamped with schoolwork 

merida: if you ever need to talk to me, i'm here, yeah? and so is nat

birdbrain: thanks, clint, i appreciate it 

merida: don't sweat it 

\- 

**THE BREAKFAST CLUB**  
**MEMBERS: **  
tony stark (tonystank)  
steve rogers (goldenboysteve)  
thor odinson (thunderstruck)  
bruce banner (drhulk)  
james rhodes (rhoderunner)

monday 10:18am

tonystank: attention losers!! i have something important to share

tonystank: something fucking strange has happened

drhulk: this better be important, i'm in chemistry rn 

tonystank: dw brucey this is important 

rhoderunner: yes, tony?

thunderstruck: what is it?

goldenboysteve: what's happened that's so important and strange?

tonystank: are my eyes deceiving me? is golden boy steven grant rogers texting in the middle of class???

goldenboysteve: haha make ur jokes

tonystank: SO,,,,,,, i'm in physics, doing my thing when we get a pop quiz sprung on us 

tonystank: and i'm like okay, that's fine, i can ace it 

tonystank: we get it back at the end of the lesson all marked and i've beaten strange by one mark

rhoderunner: where's the point to this story

tonystank: im getting there, rhodey bear 

tonstank: oh wow that rhymed 

tonystank: my point: stephen FUCKING strange came up to me and CONGRATULATED me on topping the class

tonystank: i couldn't believe it

tonystank: i thought i was dreaming 

tonystank: i still can't believe it 

drhulk: who would've thought he wasn't an arrogant asshole 24/7

tonystank: he's supposed to be an arrogant asshole to me and i'm supposed to be an arrogant asshole back. that's how this thing is supposed to go 

drhulk: isnt it tiring always being in competition with him?

tonystank: no 

tonystank: im in competition with everyone

tonystank: im better than everyone and i want everybody to know it 

-

**SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY  
****MEMBERS:  
**scott lang (pissant)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)  
wanda maximoff (sabrinatheteenagewitch)  
pietro maximoff (needforspeed)  
shuri (queenshuri)  
peter parker (peterparkerz)  
stephen strange (strangerthings)

monday 10:27am

strangerthings: I just fucked up 

strangerthings: I congratulated tony stark for beating me in a physics pop quiz 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: is this ur way of telling us ur crushing on tony?

strangerthings: NO 

strangerthings: this is my way of telling you that I’m yeeting myself out of existence 

pissant: stephen, you are always telling me to stop being so dramatic 

pissant: now it’s my turn to tell you to stop being so dramatic 

needforspeed: what’s happening?

queenshuri: stephen’s just told us he has the hots for tony stark

strangerthings: I DO NOT HAVE THE HOTS FOR TONY STARK

peterparkerz: denial’s not just a river in Egypt 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: you and tony would make a cute couple

strangerthings: are you all forgetting that stark and I hate each other? 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: I think u are forgetting that enemies to lovers is god tier 

strangerthings: you watch too many rom-coms

sabrinatheteenagewitch: that’s true 


	10. heartbreak party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which odin's unplanned visit to town leaves each of the odinsons reeling, the juniors tease stephen about tony and sam comes to terms with his feelings (much to his dismay).

**SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY  
****MEMBERS:  
**scott lang (pissant)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)  
wanda maximoff (sabrinatheteenagewitch)  
pietro maximoff (needforspeed)  
shuri (queenshuri)  
peter parker (peterparkerz)  
stephen strange (strangerthings)

monday 4:36pm

pissant: can you all believe today is the day stephen announced his feelings for tony stark??

pissant: not me 

strangerthings: i never said i have feelings for stark

strangerthings: which i don't

strangerthings: i hate him 

needforspeed: keep ur friends close but ur enemies closer ;)

pissant: i think stephen is taking that too literally :0

strangerthings: I DONT HAVE FEELINGS FOR TONY STARK

pissant: i DoN'T HaVe FEeLiNGs FoR tONy sTaRK

pissant: yawn yawn yawn yawn

pissant: for somebody who doesn't like tony stark you keep mentioning him

strangerthings: THATS BECAUSE YOU KEEP

strangerthings: you know what? i'm not getting anywhere so i'm going to stop 

pissant: going to message stark? ;)

lokidyinginside: stephen might not have feelings for stark now, but at the end of the year they'll be together

strangerthings: loki why are you talking about me like i'm not even here? 

lokidyinginside: sorry

lokidyinginside: stephen i think by the end of the year you and stark will get over your egos the size of the statue of liberty and will have banged each other 

strangerthings: i ⏤

queenshuri: is somebody lost for words?

strangerthings: mE? MY EGO THE SIZE OF THE STATUE OF LIBERTY? TONY STARK IS /LITERALLY/ IN THE SCHOOL

lokidyinginside: did you miss the part when i said both ur egos are the size of the statue of liberty? what, are you illiterate now? 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: what is going on i've just finished cheer practice and 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: my phone's been buzzing non-stop the entire time 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT loki i agree with you

lokidyinginside: another intellectual here

pissant: ahem 

lokidyinginside: *** a third intellectual here 

pissant: that's better 

strangerthings: you three share the stupidity braincell 

strangerthings: stark and i will NEVER and i repeat NEVER will be together or /bang/

strangerthings: i threw up in my mouth just typing those words 

peterparkerz: ur not raven from that's so raven, stephen you can't see the future 

sabrinatheteenagewitch: oh hi pete!!!!

peterparkerz: hey wanda!!!! 

needforspeed: what a burn from peter

peterparkerz: i couldn't help myself i've been binge watching that's so raven lately 

queenshuri: somebody has great taste 

peterparkerz: ty 

queenshuri: stephen i hope those words bite you in the ass 

strangerthings: of course you would 

queenshuri: it's just because i want to see you happy¡!¡!

strangerthings: you take delight in my misery just like you do with your brother

queenshuri: seeing t'challa flounder like a goose around nakia is priceless 

lokidyinginside: who the fuck is nakia 

queenshuri: t'challa's crush you asshole

queenshuri: who by some miracle actually likes him back 

queenshuri: now SHE has bad taste 

strangerthings: do you bully everybody in your life?

queenshuri: yes 

queenshuri: except for peter bc he's too sweet and I could never do that to him

peterparkerz: i'm blushing all the way from my apartment 

\- 

**OLD TOWN ROAD: **  
**MEMBERS: **  
bucky barnes (ASSet)  
sam wilson (birdbrain)  
natasha romanoff (nattynat)  
clint barton (merida)

monday 6:14pm

merida: 6397.png 

merida: i've replaced you all with my new bff

nattynat: why are you taking a selfie with sam's mom?

nattynat: but pls say hi to her for me 

merida: will do natty 

merida: nat mrs wilson says hi back

ASSet: oh look it's my favourite wilson

birdbrain: fuck off barnes 

ASSet: chill sam it's a joke

birdbrain: ha ha how hilarious 

ASSet: why can i hear ur sarcastic tone over text?

birdbrain: because I occupy all ur thoughts?

ASSet: HAH keep dreaming wilson

ASSet: the only men that occupy my thoughts are pietro and john bender 

merida: pietro's a boy tho bc he's a junior 

ASSet: HOW DARE YOU 

ASSet: at least I have a man 

birdbrain: and i oop ⏤

nattynat: this is getting good 

merida: cue dramatic blinking sounds 

ASSet: clint i'm sorry i didn't mean it 

merida: it's ok. not like it isn't true 

merida: just my luck to fall for a straight guy 

ASSet: you don't know that he's straight 

merida: you don't have to try to make me feel better, its fine

nattynat: clint you didn't answer my question. why are you with the wilson's?

merida: sam and i were going for a walk with lucky and sam's mom invited me over for dinner

merida: said i was too skinny and she needed to fatten me up 

merida: plus she said i could stay and watch america's got talent with her and sam and eat ben and jerry's

birdbrain: i'm such a saint i'm sharing cookies and cream with him 

merida: what would i do without you sam?

birdbrain: suffer just like you did before i moved to the school 

birdbrain: gtg assholes we're having dinner 

merida: byeeeeee

ASSet: see you 

nattynat: bye 

\- 

**TOM AND JERRY****  
****MEMBERS:   
** bucky barnes (ASSet)   
sam wilson (birdbrain)

monday 8:59pm

ASSet: hey sam... is clint ok??

ASSet: you know, after what i said?

birdbrain: he's fine. 

ASSet: are you sure?

birdbrain: yeah he's fine. he was stealing my ice-cream and laughing with my mom as we watched agt 

birdbrain: just because clint's ok doesn't mean what you said was cool. 

ASSet: i know that ok? you don't need to make me feel guilty 

birdbrain: im not trying to. i'm just letting you know what you said was wrong 

ASSet: are you still mad at me? i thought we sorted out everything 

birdbrain: i'm not mad at you 

ASSet: really? because you're being short with me 

ASSet: have I done something wrong to upset you?

birdbrain: no

ASSet: then why does it feel like ur mad at me? 

birdbrain: because i have feelings for you, dumbass and you're dating somebody else

_BIRDBRAIN BACKSPACES THE MESSAGE _

birdbrain: i'm not

ASSet: if you say so. i'm not going to push you 

birdbrain: there's nothing to tell

ASSet: fine 

birdbrain: fine 

\- 

**OLD TOWN ROAD: **  
**MEMBERS: **  
bucky barnes (ASSet)  
sam wilson (birdbrain)  
natasha romanoff (nattynat)  
clint barton (merida)

tuesday 11:02am

merida: ugh spanish is so boring :/

nattynat: all you do is sleep anyway

merida: and all /you/ do is shoot spitballs at me 

nattynat: you snooze you lose 

merida: sam this is usually the time where you tell me that french is better 

merida: sammy what's wrongggg

birdbrain: nothing, its fine. just didn't sleep well

merida: are you ok?

birdbrain: yeah, i'm fine 

nattynat: do you want to see a video of me shooting spitballs at a sleeping clint?

birdbrain: sure 

nattynat: 4597.mov

birdbrain: who took the video?

nattynat: quill

nattynat: who knew he was good for something?

merida: at least he got my good side

nattynat: you don't have a good side 

merida: i'm going to take out my hearing aids to pretend i didn't hear that 

nattynat: clint we are texting

merida: let me have my dramatic moment woman 

nattynat: never 

merida: is it just us again at lunchtime?

nattynat: yeah. bucky told me that he's sitting with pietro's friends today

birdbrain: does that mean pietro will sometimes be sitting with us?

nattynat: ig

nattynat: bucky didn't say anything about it to me but i guess so because bucky's now with pietro's friends 

merida: if bucky does bring pietro over pls be cool guys 

nattynat: clint you will be the one to make things awkward you are a breathing disaster 

merida: right 

merida: note to self: don't be awkward when bucky brings pietro over

birdbrain: if 

merida: if what?

birdbrain: if bucky brings pietro over. just because pietro's done it doesn't mean bucky will

nattynat: idk i think bucky will

nattynat: i haven't seen bucky be this serious about anybody before 

merida: who would've thought that bucky would be the first one to be in a proper relationship

merida: not me 

nattynat: me neither 

birdbrain: yeah 

nattynat: if there's hope for bucky the commitment phobe, there's hope for the rest of us 

merida: not if ur guy is straight :/

nattynat: that's because he's not the guy for you, then

merida: hm

merida: life would be so much easier if i was straight

merida: but disaster straight doesn't have the ring that disaster gay does 

birdbrain: ur MY disaster gay ^_^

merida: and ur MY dumbass bi ^_^

nattynat: get a room you 2 

\- 

**KEEPING UP WITH THE ODINSONS BOOTLEG VERSION  
****MEMBERS:  
**hela odinson (seeyouinhela)  
thor odinson (thunderstruck)  
loki laufeyson (lokidyinginside)

friday 9:12pm

thunderstruck: listen up assholes

lokidyinginside: don't call me an asshole, you fucker 

lokidyinginside: the only asshole around here is hela 

seeyouinhela: just like the only bitch around here is you loki 

lokidyinginside: you wanna fight?

seeyouinhela: bring it on 

thunderstruck: hOLD ON STOP GETTING SIDETRACKED FROM WHY I STARTED THIS CONVERSATION

seeyouinhela: what do you want 

lokidyinginside: ^

thunderstruck: now everybody's ganging up on me. for what? wtf did i do?

lokidyinginside: breathing 

seeyouinhela: being born 

thunderstruck: words hurt 

seeyouinhela: spit it out thor 

thunderstruck: FiNe

thunderstruck: father and mother are coming to see us this weekend 

lokidyinginside: WHAT

seeyouinhela: WHY

thunderstruck: because they want to see us??? that's what happens when you travel to see somebody 

seeyouinhela: don't get smart with me 

thunderstruck: i'm not looking forward to it either 

lokidyinginside: why? ur the golden child. father loves you

seeyouinhela: especially since you won ur stupid football match tonight 

thunderstruck: i don't like seeing you two upset when father visits :(

seeyouinhela: we'll be fine

lokidyinginside: we've been dealing with it our whole lives 

seeyouinhela: we don't need ur pity 

\- 

saturday 1:08pm

lokidyinginside: i fucking hate that bastard 

seeyouinhela: i hope he rots in hell 

lokidyinginside: i don't know what mother sees in him

thunderstruck: guys 

seeyouinhela: don't even think about defending that asshole, thor 

thunderstruck: i'm not defending him! i just want to make sure ur both ok

lokidyinginside: leave us alone, thor. you wouldn't understand, you're the golden child 

seeyouinhela: ^ 

thunderstruck: you do realise he's made comments about me being gay before right?

lokidyinginside: yeah and he chooses to ignore it because ur avengers high's star quarterback which makes him look good

seeyouinhela: selfish bastard 

\- 

**THE WORST THING ABOUT PRISON WAS THE DEMENTORS**  
**MEMBERS: **  
thor odinson (thunderstruck)  
bruce banner (drhulk) 

saturday 1:19pm

thunderstruck: fuck today has been a nightmare 

drhulk: what did odin do? 

thunderstruck: where do i begin? 

thunderstruck: he and mother came over for lunch and he congratulated me on the win last night 

thunderstruck: which then led to passive comments to hela about losing her job at the skate rink and calls her dumb and worthless for not being able to hold down a job 

drhulk: shit that's messed up 

thunderstruck: it gets worse 

thunderstruck: he asks loki about school and his friends and if he's seeing anyone. loki gets uncomfortable and father thinks it's because loki is seeing somebody. loki doesn't answer but father gets angry because he thinks loki is gay. loki then yells at father and says he isn't seeing anybody because he isn't interested in being in a romantic relationship. and then odin told loki that he's going through a phase and he'll grow out of it. wtf :///////////////

drhulk: so loki came out to you all?

thunderstruck: yeah. i had no idea loki was aromantic and i feel bad that he felt like he couldn't confide in anybody

drhulk: thor, loki came out to me

thunderstruck: what? when?

drhulk: last week. he told me he was going to tell you and hela soon, but he just needed somebody to tell first that wasn't his siblings or friends 

thunderstruck: wow

thunderstruck: i'm glad he felt comfortable enough to tell you 

drhulk: just be there for him, ok? i know he will push you away and tell you he's fine, but he was really nervous about telling you and hela 

thunderstruck: yeah, i will 

thunderstruck: fucking hell father's really gone and screwed everything up 

thunderstruck: i've walked past hela's room and she's crying 

thunderstruck: i've never seen her cry before. not even when she broke her arm playing falling off the monkey bars in sixth grade

thunderstruck: idk what to do

drhulk: you just have to be there for them to show them you love them, unlike odin 

thunderstruck: im so mad at him. who says shit like that to their own kids?

drhulk: a heartless bastard

thunderstruck: hey, loki's come out of his room, i'm going to talk to him. i'll text you later?

drhulk: ofc! go and help loki. and tell loki that i'm here for him if he wants to talk

thunderstrucks: thanks bruce, ur the best. love you <3 

drhulk: love you <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sam and bucky's friendship will start to become rocky, especially because sam admits he has feelings to himself that he has feelings for bucky and starts to distance himself from bucky because it hurts to see bucky and pietro together. 
> 
> on a happier note, next chapter is halloween and it's going to be a massive crossover between all the friendship groups!!! chapter 11 features haunted mansions, couples costumes, awkward run-ins, a great of pining (from sam, clint and nat) AND hope being exasperated at her dumbass boyfriend that she loves


End file.
